The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi
by heythereholly
Summary: See what happens when the telemarketers go too far and bug the Senshi too much! Hehe RR! Chapter TEN is [{(RELOADED WITH NEW CONTENT)}]! Ch11 coming up!
1. Chapter One! Score One For The Outers

The Telemarketers Meet The Outer Senshi  
  
Just something I came up with one night after reading ways of getting rid of telemarketers Gundam Wing style. WARNING: MAJOR OOC (Out Of Character)- ness  
  
The Outer Senshi are just sitting around one day doing nothing (wow no battles) and today is Telemarketer Day for them it seems.  
  
  
  
*Phone rings*  
  
Tara: Yyyyeellloww?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes who am I speaking with?  
  
Tara: Why?  
  
Telemarketer: I need to speak with a Tara James  
  
Tara: Why?  
  
Telemarketer: Because I have an important buisness call for her  
  
Tara: Why?  
  
Telemarketer: Are you Tara?  
  
Tara: Why?  
  
Telemarketer: I am with AT&T and wondering if you want to switch phone companies...  
  
Tara: ONE DAY I WILL RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: *hangs up*  
  
  
  
Aroura: Who was that?  
  
Tara: Telemarketer  
  
Aroura: Oh...I guess you like the word why?  
  
Tara: Yep.  
  
*Phone rings again*  
  
  
  
Aroura: I'll get it. *picks up phone and speaks in Britsh accent* Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes I would like to know if you would like a Master card at--  
  
Aroura: *cuts off telemarketer* OH MY GOD THERE'S A MONSTER!! SOMEONE KILL IT!!! OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD!!!!  
  
Tara: *fwaps table in background*  
  
Telemarketer: Are you okay, Ms.?  
  
Aroura: OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD...IT'S ALIVE!!  
  
Telemarketer: *hangs up scared to death*  
  
Tara: I shoulda done that.  
  
  
  
Trista: *walks into room* Did someone say monster?  
  
*Phone rings yet again*  
  
Trista: *Picks it up* Hello??  
  
Telemarketer: Are you over the age of 18?  
  
Trista: *thinks- now there's a hard question* Yes...  
  
Telemarketer: Do you have an MCI phone provider?  
  
Trista: Yes...  
  
Telemarketer: Would you like to switch to Sprint PCS for only--  
  
Trista: *cuts off telemarketer in Time Guardian mode* I know who you are and where you live, and I know your past and future.  
  
Telemarketer: Umm...  
  
Trista: I shall send one of my beings to your house tonight...you won't be making any more calls, let me say  
  
Telemarketer: *shifty voice* Um,...do you want to switch to Sprint PCS?  
  
Trista: I know where you live.  
  
Tara and Aroura: *do DUN DUN DUN sounds in background*  
  
Telemarketer: I gotta go bye! *hangs up quickly*  
  
Trista: That got rid of him.  
  
Tara: Yep.  
  
  
  
Aroura: Imagine sitting there all day long calling people to use Sprint PCS.  
  
Tara: When they could be out fighting negatrash...!! What a shame they are  
  
Aroura: *nodnodnod*  
  
  
  
Amara: *comes into room* Who's been calling?  
  
Tara, Aroura, and Trista: Telemarketers.  
  
Amara: Oh.  
  
  
  
*phone rings for the millionth time*  
  
  
  
Amara: I'll get it. *picks up phone* Yeah can I help you?  
  
Telemarketer: Are you interested in a Visa card?  
  
Amara: I'm a car racer.  
  
Telemarketer: Yes very nice. Do you want a credit card?  
  
Amara: *VERY mockingly* Dude did you see the last race?  
  
Telemarketer: I am offering you a once in a lifetime chance to get a credit card from Visa with a 0.9 interest rate...*goes on*  
  
Amara: DON'T MOCK CAR RACING!!  
  
Telemarketer: I'm not  
  
Amara: I don't like you  
  
Telemarketer: Do you want a credit card? *again*  
  
Amara: You're mean, and I'm telling my....*uh...* car racing team on you! *hangs up*  
  
Telemarketer: *blink, stare*  
  
  
  
Tara: Nice  
  
Aroura: Congrats!  
  
Trista: *clap*  
  
Amara: Telemarketers are fun to tell off.  
  
Tara: Couldn'ta said it better myself!  
  
  
  
*Michelle walks into room, wondering who's been causing all the wracket*  
  
*phone rings*  
  
  
  
Michelle: *picks it up* Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: Are you under 18?  
  
Michelle: By approxmiately one week three days 4 hours 27 minutes 19 seconds, 220.17 milliseconds...*goes on forever*  
  
Telemarketer: *falls asleep then jerks awake* Um, yes, is there anyone in your house over the age of 18?  
  
Michelle: By approximately one-  
  
Telemarketer: NOT THAT AGAIN!  
  
Michelle: --thousand--  
  
Telemarketer: A thousand years over 18?  
  
Michelle: Yep.  
  
Telemarketer: Alive?  
  
Michelle: Yep.  
  
Telemarketer: Through use of scientific reasearch?  
  
Michelle: There weren't scientists that far back.  
  
Telemarketer: Ah, yes of course..how is that possible?  
  
Michelle: Do ya really wanna know?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes!  
  
Michelle: Nya nya too bad baka  
  
Telemarketers: What's baka?  
  
Michelle: *singsong voice* it was invented approximately 227 years ago by someone who--  
  
Telemarketer: Are you a history teacher?  
  
Michelle: Nope  
  
Telemarketer: Do you have a history backgroud?  
  
Michelle: Are you trying to insinuate something?  
  
Telemarketer: Insinuate?  
  
Michelle: Ihaveafriendwhohasaweaponthatwilltearyouapartandthenyouwon'tbeabletocallmean ymoreMr.I'msSoHotsoleammealone. [1]  
  
Telemarketer: Eh?  
  
Michelle: I said, Ihaveafriendwhohasaweaponthatwilltearyouapartandhenyouwon'tbeabletocallmeany moreMr.I'mSoHotsoleammealone.  
  
Telemarketer: How is that person a thousand years over 18?  
  
Michelle: The number eighteen is really a monomial of the letters z and 27 which are in Greek mythology known as pi.  
  
Telemarketer: Um...ok  
  
Michelle: There's something sneaking up behind you that came from the bottom of a shipwreck in the ocean *says spookily then hangs up*  
  
  
  
Tara: *scribbling down notes* was that math stuff true? *scribble*  
  
Michelle: Nope  
  
Tara: *sweatdrops and crumples up her paper and chucks it into the trash* you talk faster than me  
  
Michelle: Yep.  
  
Aroura: Next time they call I get the phone...I have a very nice idea *sly grin*  
  
  
  
*phone rings as if on cue*  
  
Tara: This is gonna be good  
  
  
  
Aroura: *picks up phone* HURRICANE FORCE!!! *says even though not transformed*  
  
Telemarketer: Hurricane? Um yes, are you interesting in switching to MCI?  
  
Aroura: DIE MONSTER DIE!!! *just able to not crack up*  
  
Telemarketer: MONSTER?!  
  
Aroura: TORNADO BLAST!!!!! *makes a swishing sound in background*  
  
Telemarketer: *hangs up*  
  
  
  
Aroura: Think I scared 'im off?  
  
Tara: Yep. I call the phone next time!  
  
Trista: I can only imagine what kind of plot if forming in that mind of yours, Tara.  
  
Tara: *sly grin*  
  
  
  
*phone rings again*  
  
Tara: Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello this is AT&T  
  
Tara: Is this AT&T?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes this is AT&T. Are you interested in a prepaid phone card?  
  
Tara: This is AT&T?  
  
Telemarketer: YES this is AT&T, how about that phone card?  
  
Tara: Is this AT&T?  
  
Telemarketer: YES! YES THIS IS AT&T...phone card?  
  
Tara: May I ask who is calling?  
  
Telemarketer: AT&T...now what do you say about a phone card?  
  
Tara: Who do you wanna talk to Mr. MCI?  
  
Telemarketer: I'm with AT&T. May I speak with Ms. James?  
  
Tara: Ok, hold on Mr. Sprint PCS *puts the phone down for 10 straight minutes and goes into the kitchen to make a sandwhich* *comes back thinking that surely the telemarketer is gone*  
  
Telemarketer: *waiting*  
  
Tara: Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes this is AT&T and I wanted to know if...  
  
Tara: Wait you said you're AT&T?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes  
  
Tara: As in the phone people?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes. I was wondering if you...  
  
Tara: I thought you said this was AT&T and not Sprint PCS  
  
Telemarketer: We are a phone company called AT&T. Are you Ms. James?  
  
Tara: But I already have a phone  
  
Telemarketer: Your prepaid phone card will have 5200$ worth of minutes if you sign up now...are you interested?  
  
Tara: Wow! 5200$? That's a lotta money! So, when are you sending me the cash?  
  
Telemarketer: No you would send us the money all together after using your minutes  
  
Tara: But you said you'd pay me! I don't like you  
  
Telemarketer: The deal is that we send you a card and over time the total of minutes on there is worth $5200.  
  
Tara: I demand the supervisor!  
  
Telemarketer: Now (phone card) I (phone card) don't (phone card) think (phone card) that's (phone card) nesecary (phone card!)  
  
Tara: EITHER YOU CONNECT ME WITH THE SUPERVISOR OR THE ANGEL OF DEATH WILL VISIT YOUR HOUSE TONIGHT!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes ma'am *scared voice*  
  
Tara: *sits down again and bites the sandwhich*  
  
Supervisor: Yes I understand you don't comprehend our phone card offer?  
  
Tara: SILENT DESTRUCTION!! *says just to be nutty* FATE WILL SOON ARRIVE AND TAKE YOU WITH IT!!! HAHAHA! *hangs up*  
  
  
  
Aroura: Nice nice nice!  
  
Trista: That'll teach those telemarketers  
  
Michelle: I oughta use some of those tactics...  
  
Amara: Next telemarketer that calls I'll Blast 'em!  
  
*phone rings*  
  
~~~  
  
and so concludes part one of The Telemarketers Meet the Outer Senshi  
  
~~~  
  
1- I have a friend that has a weapon that will tear you apart and then you won't be able to call me anymore Mr. I'm So Hot so leamme alone. 


	2. Chapter Two! The Inners Hide From Amy

The Telemarketers Meet the Outer Senshi Chapter Two  
  
A/N: First, the Replies to those wonderful, lovely, excellent, cherished, everything else nice you can think of people who were kind enough to be real nice and review!! This second chapter is dedicated to you guys! ^.~;;  
  
These names are written in the order I saw when I got those blessed 7 emails ^^...  
  
Tema Krempley: I'm glad ya like it! As you can see lol I've written up a second chapter of this story. Please r/r again! ^_^;;;; Many thanks to infinity, dear reviewer...god that sounded mideavil time ish..oh well ^^  
  
Aqua Rhapsody: Once again I'm glad you like it too! ^^ As you, and I think a couple other people requested a chappie on when the Inners get attacked by EVIL telemaketers, I've written up a chappie-ness ^^ r/r and enjoy most of all! Domo arigatou gozaimasu ^^  
  
Ami KittyCat Misuno: S'good that it's funny! As they say, the more you laugh the longer you live so lets hope we all live real long! Lol hai, one day I'm gonna pull the Trista one on a telemarketer....those bakas are gonna be so scared lol. DOMO ARIGATOU FOR REVIEWING! ^^  
  
SkyGoddessHaruka: Glad ya luv it! ^^ I am writing more so r/r please? ^^ TODAH RABAH MEYOD! (thank you very much! ^^ in hebrew)  
  
Stacy M. Shanahan: Ooo nice idea with Villans being attacked by bad bad bad sales calls..will devote a chapter to ya just for that idea and yes I am gonna! ^.~;; Ty soo much for reviewing!  
  
Michelle Ann/Myst Lady: Glad to write up plenty more for ya ^.~;;; keep on checking it out k? ^^ Ty!!!!  
  
md-bookworm: Ah, there we go, the other person who requested an Inner- Telemarketer ficcie. This one is for you and Aqua! Along with all the other wonderful people in this world who are so kind ^^ Writing this one real funny, hope you like!! Okietay peeps...on with el story!  
  
~~~  
  
The Inners are just hanging out around Raye's temple in one of those famous study session groups that never seem to work all too much. They are blind to the fact of the BAD BAD BAD calls from evil beings known as telemarketers who are about to call them...FOR ALL ETERNITY!!!! Ehehe! R/r and enjoy!  
  
*phone rings*  
  
Amy: *eyes phone then goes back to math* Ok, so #27....8x - 37 is less than 210.75....*talks more math stuff*  
  
*phone rings again*  
  
Serena: PHONE!! *picks it up* Hi!  
  
Telemarketer: Hello I am with Mastercard....are you interested?  
  
Serena: Um, first I want some cookies! ...You do have cookies right? *whinie voice*  
  
Telemarketer: Miss, are you over 18?  
  
Serena: I WANT MY COOKIES AND I WANT IT NOWWWW!!!!! Um....no.  
  
Telemarketer: Is there anyone over 18?  
  
Serena: There's grampa. BUT NO SPEAKIE TO HIM UNLESS I GET MY COOKIEESSSS!!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: Um, yes, yes indeed...cookies. May I speak to this....ern...grampa?  
  
Serena: YOU MEANIE!!! FOR YOUR FUTURE QUEEN YOU SHOULD GIMME COOKIES WHEN I WANT MY COOKIES!! *hangs up* Ok, wait, so how do you do #27??  
  
  
  
Raye: Air-head. *phone rings...again*  
  
*Raye picks up the phone*  
  
Raye: ....hello....  
  
Telemarketer: Hi! How are you today? *voice is so darn sugary you could get cavaties just by listening to it*  
  
Raye: ....you have reached my voice...my mind is somewhere where you are not....please leave a message at the sound of the click.... *"I See Dead People" voice*  
  
Telemarketer: Ok, so, how would you like a prepaid phone card for 5200$? (A/N: yes, same telemarketer who Tara bugged the heck outta)  
  
Raye: ...you have reached a void...you will be sucked up into nothingness in 5.....4......3.......2.......1.5.......1.4......  
  
Telemarketer: Nothingness?  
  
Raye: ....1.3........1.2........1.1......1....this recording will now self destruct....BBAAAAMMM!!!!!! *click* *hang up*  
  
Serena: DUDE RAYE YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT, BLINK ALREADY!! *hide behind Lita*  
  
Raye: That was just my handy-dandy way of getting rid of telemarketers. Back to....number 2 or 7? Or was it....?  
  
Mina: 27, genius  
  
Raye: *mutter*  
  
  
  
*phone rings*  
  
Mina: *picks up phone* Yes?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello, are you interested in taking a phone survey with Target?  
  
Mina: What's a phone? What's a survey? What's a target? Where is the universe? When was it born? Are there really little green men out in space? Did girls really used to wear poof in the olden days? Did guys really wear tights? When was the phone invented? What's a phone? What language am I speaking? Am I speaking? Does the light in the fridge really go off when you close it? What's light? Is light even a word? What color is yellow made of? Is cheese real? Who invented homework? What is homework? Is it that stuff teachers give you to do at home and it's work? If so, why do they do it? Is--  
  
Telemarketer: An electrical object. Something you answer. A closing circular ring with a dot in the middle. I do not know. Approximately a bagillion years ago. No. Yes. Yes. 1867 (A/N: ???). An electrical object. Japanese. Yes. Yes. Photons. Yes. Orange and white. Yes. I do not know. The stuff your teachers give you to do at home and it's work. What I just said. To annoy you. Now....survey?  
  
Mina: Dude *hangs up* *turns to group* he answerd all my totally wierd questions!  
  
Serena: Wow...someone for once speaks Mina.  
  
Mina: *mutter* at least I hooked Andrew the other day.  
  
All: YOU WHAT?!  
  
Mina: Hehehehehe back to math ok number 27 you minus 8 from both sides and leave x........*stares* what? I studied..yeah I did Raye!  
  
  
  
*phone rings yet again....Lita picks up* Helllooooooo????  
  
Telemarketer: Hi, I'm with AT&T. Are you interested in switching phone companies?  
  
Lita: KKIIIIIAAAAIIIII!!!!! KA - RA - TE ---- CHOP!!!!!!!!!! (Kiai - shout of spirit...learnt that in karate)  
  
Telemarketer: Nice. Which phone server are you currently connected with?  
  
Lita: Speak English please.  
  
Telemarketer: But this is Japan.  
  
Lita: SPEAK ENGLISH OR ELSE!!  
  
Telemarketer: Ok. *speaks in English now* So, are you--  
  
Lita: I don't know what you're saying....are you saying I'm an idiot? I wouldn't do that if I were you, you know I have my blackbelt and I have a bad temper and if you got on my bad side it wouldn't be good because I don't like it when people speak other languages I don't understand  
  
Telemarketer: *hangs up*  
  
Lita: Bad telemarketer...you didn't ask me anything. *actually knew what he was saying* *puts phone back on hook*  
  
All: *face vault and sweatdrop*  
  
*phone rings once again. Amy stands up, angered.*  
  
Serena: RUN!! RUN AMY IS MAD OH FOR THE LOVE OF DARIEN RUN!!!!  
  
Lita, Mina, Luna, Artemis, Raye, and Mina: *chibi fall*  
  
Raye: Poor girl's lost it.  
  
Amy: *picks up phone* YES MAY I HELP YOU, DEAR SIR?!?!?!?!?!?!?!  
  
Telemarketer: *shifty voice* First, do you know anyone who...ern....knows where I live? (A/N: member Trist-san from first chappie-chap? ^.^)  
  
Amy: Yes. Yes I do. I shall tell her you called.  
  
Telemarketer: NOOO don't get her on the phone please she's gonna send someone to-- oh yes. Sorry. Um, are you interested in a prepaid Visa Mastercard?  
  
Amy: Ah, but you know, DEAREST SIR, I am trying to study for my highschool exam with my friends, IF I do not pass I shall tell the one who you spoke to earlier to send someone to you, AND if she does that you will not call me again, AND if you do not call me again, IT will only mean one thing, AND that ONE thing is, sir, that you...have been....shall we say EXCECTUED????  
  
Telemarketer: *hangs up*  
  
All: *hide from Amy*  
  
Rini: What's a telemarketer?  
  
All: *chibi fall and sweatdrop:: Rini, you don't wanna know *say all together*  
  
~~~  
  
and so ends yet another chappieness of *echo* THE TELEMARKETER ATTACKS *echo times a bagillion*. Lol r/r and I might just post two more! In the next episode of, *boomy, echoey voice* THE TELEMARKETER ATTACKS, *eeeeccchhooooo*, we see that those durned baka's will even go so far as to....what! Can this be true? ATTACK THE....NEGAVERSE?? Is it REALLY possible? Will they ever make it out of Beryl's (in need of serious showering) hands? HOW CAN YOU STOP YOURSELF FROM CLICKING THE BLUE BUTTON BELOW TO FIND OUT??? The suspense! The drama! Oh, the action and telemarketing annoyness! Don'tcha just wanna know? Click el button and send me an el email to (hehe no not this time) find out!!! XD  
  
~~~ 


	3. Chapter Three! Malachite Gets Eaten Aliv...

The Telemarketes Meet The Senshi Chapter Three: Malachite Gets Eaten Alive by Zoicite  
  
Sorry for the long time..I had a family emergency where my grandmother almost died twice and had a stroke, so things've been very busy around here lately. I wrote about what happened, you can read it by clicking on my profile and looking for the story called "Poison Pills". It'll tell you everything. Anyways I haven't forgotten you guys. Here's chapter three.  
  
~~~  
  
I'm baaacckk!! Everyone's favorite story on those bakas aka Telemarketers is UPDATED!! YES CAN IT BE!! Yes, it can be cause...it is!! YAYY!!!! I know these aren't all the negabaddies but hey lol I gots lotsa requests to write up! but ask me for more and you lovely reviewers might just see....mooore negabaddieness being attacked by telemarketers! ^___^ And I used my dictionary-sama for the Japanese ^.^;;;;; And just so that there's no confusion, Tara and Aroura are NOT in the Manga or Anime, and Hotaru is NOT in this. I used my version of Sailor Saturn and my best friends' character, Sailor Earth.  
  
(Replies will be at the bottom this time ^^;;; )  
  
~~~  
  
Beryl and the other Negabaddies are lounging around drinking Starbucks frappachinos (sp?) one day and discussing ways to rid the world of over price coffee when...yes! Can it be?!?! The Telemarketers are so desperate after the Senshi to sell stuff that they...no! No this is not true! But alas, it is! They....CALL THE NEGAVERSE!!! RUN!!  
  
~~~  
  
Beryl: Coffee is so overpriced these days  
  
Zoicite: Yeah I know, sometimes I think that we should make it then it'll be free  
  
Malachite: I wonder what the Senshi are doing right now?  
  
Beryl: Probably talking about the same thing we are. *sips frappachino*  
  
*phone rings*  
  
Beryl: I'll get it  
  
  
  
Beryl: *picks up phone* Hello, Negaverse here, how can I help you? *sounds so unlike herself that Zoicite prepares to attack*  
  
Telemarketer: Negaverse? Oh, um, yes, ma'am, are you over the age of 18?  
  
Beryl: Are you in the coffee buisness?  
  
Telemarketer: No. Are you over 18, ma'am?  
  
Beryl: YOU'RE NOT IN THE COFFEE BUISNESS?! I SHALL UNLEASH THE AWSOME POWER OF THE NEGAFORCE ON YOU BECAUSE OF THAT!!!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: What Negaverse?  
  
Beryl: *starts rubbing her li'l crystal ball thing and chanting,* Negapower is all Negapower is all Negapower is all...*chant chant*  
  
Telemarketer: *sweatdrop* Um.....I think I got to go...byyyeeeeee!!!!  
  
Beryl: *barely above a whisper* your destiny of demise is written in the evil stars, my dear  
  
Telemarketer: MOMMYYY!!!!!! *hang up*  
  
Beryl: *shrugs and glances at Zoicite who is very much freaked out* whaa..?  
  
Zoicite: *hide*  
  
  
  
Beryl: So what do you guys wanna talk about?  
  
Zoicite: Let's plot against telemarketers  
  
Malachite: Yay!  
  
Beryl and Zoicite: *blink*  
  
  
  
*phone rings*  
  
  
  
Zoicite: Yeaahhhhh??  
  
Telemarketer: Hi! I'm with AT&T! How are you this very fine morning?  
  
Zoicite: Morning? It's morning? Gee, I didn't know that. I thought it was still in the time before creation where it's all dark. I was born then, you know. And I've been reincarnated a few times, you know. And also my friends have too. What is a morning anyways? Isn't that when it gets too bright and you get blinded by sun light or whatever it's called? Or is it when you be all sad? I wonder, you know. I thought that we all lived in darkness, you know. But, alas I was wrong. I don't like being wrong.  
  
Telemarketer: Riiiigghtttt.  
  
Zoicite: ARE YOU MOCKING ME?!?! YOU DARE MOCK THE ONE AND ONLY ZOICITE (insert creepy last name) OF THE NEGAVERSE!!!! FOR THAT I (with Beryl) SHALL ...er...DEMISE YOU!!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes anyways. Are you interested in a prepaid phone card worth (A/N: I'm sure ya know ^^ by now...$5200) 5200$? (A/N: hehe ^^)  
  
Zoicite: But...I don't understand.  
  
Telemarketer: A phone card is something you use.  
  
Zoicite: Baka hato! ("Stupid pigeon!")  
  
Telemarketer: Eh?  
  
Zoicite: Anata wa baka-tera benjo desu! ("You are a stupid toilet rat!")  
  
Telemarketer: Um...phone...card?  
  
Zoicite: Anata wa mattaku baka, telemarketer! ("You are utterly stupid, telemarketer!")  
  
Telemarketer: Are you calling me cheese?  
  
Zoicite: Nani desu chizu? ("What is cheese?")  
  
Telemarketer: An apple?  
  
Zoicite: Honto ni rainen. ("I can tell you next year.")  
  
Telemarketer: What language are you speaking?  
  
Zoicite: Nihon-go ("Japanese")  
  
Telemarketer: Um...right...ok, you know what...I believe you are not over the age of 18.  
  
Zoicite: Hai so desu! ("Yes that's right!")  
  
Telemarketer: Oooookkkaaay......have a nice day.  
  
Zoicite: I thought it was morning. Are you lying to me? I don't like people who lie, you know. I can destroy you, you know. I think you're very stupid for lying to me, baka hato. You're very baka-ish.  
  
Telemarketer: I thought you didn't speak English.  
  
Zoicite: I don't.  
  
Telemarketer: Is this a government conspiracy?  
  
Zoicite: This is my alter-ego, Zoicite. I am conspiring with my other alter- ego, Zoicite, to kill you. Omae wo korosu! ("I will kill you") Because, you are a telemarketer, you know. And I don't like telemarketers, you know. They are very bad. So omae wo korosu!  
  
Telemarketer: *click*  
  
  
  
Zoicite: Think that got 'em?  
  
Malachite: *Nods* I didn't know you spoke that much Japanese  
  
Zoicite: Ehehehe....*rubs finger on her Japanese-Negaverse dictionary*  
  
*phone rings*  
  
  
  
Malachite: *picks up phone* Heeello?  
  
Telemarketer: CONGRADULATIONS, SIR!!! YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON TO SAY HEEELLO TODAY! THAT MEANS THAT YOU HAVE JUST WON A *heavenly music* FREE TRIP TO (insert Hawaii music) HAWAII, USA! YES, THAT'S RIGHT, RIGHT OFF THE COAST OF SUNNY CALIFORNIA BY ABOUT 1500 OR SO MILES....SIR, HOW HAPPY ARE YOU TODAY?  
  
Malachite: You sound hott....wanna hook up? (A/N: Girl telemarketer...yes I have gotten girl telemarketers so this one is a girl, okies ^^)  
  
Zoicite: WHAT WAS THAT MALACHITE!!!!! YOU TRADER!!!!!!!!!!!! *tackles him* AAAAYYYYEEEEEAAAAAAIIIII!!!!!  
  
Malachite and Zoicite: *start wrestling in background, occasionly one screeches/screams* *glass vase breaks*  
  
Zoicite: I SHALL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THAT!!!!!!  
  
Malachite: AAAAAAYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!! MYYY FOOOOOOTTTTTTTT!!!!!!  
  
Zoicite: *bite*  
  
Telemarketer: *blinks, holds phone away from ear. Sounds can be heard 20 miles away*  
  
Malachite: AAAAHHHAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!  
  
Zoicite: *bite...bite....gnaw....chew....gnaw gnaw gnaw's on Malachite's finger*  
  
Malachite: EEEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: Uh.....  
  
Malachite: *after almost getting eaten alive by a hungry Zoicite, stumbles back to phone* hello? *faint voice* I was just eaten alive by someone.....aaerrrruuuggggghhhhhhh...*faints*  
  
Telemarketer: HOLY STUFF!!! *hangs up and hides under desk*  
  
  
  
Zoicite: *creeps out from her cave and drags a screaming Malachite back into her cave....gnawing sounds can be heard over the phone ringing again*  
  
  
  
Beryl: *picks up phone...throws chicken bone into Zoicite's cave....vicious biting sounds can be heard* Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello I have an important bank statement....uh...sorry...is this Pizza Man?  
  
Beryl: What is this Pizza Man you speak of?  
  
Telemarketer: I take it you're not Pizza Man?  
  
Beryl: Are you telling me I don't work with Pizza Man?  
  
Telemarketer: That's what you told me  
  
Beryl: Nu-uh!  
  
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!  
  
Beryl: Nu-uh!  
  
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!  
  
Beryl: Nu-uh!  
  
Telemarketer: Yuh-huh!  
  
Beryl: MEANIE! *hangs up*  
  
  
  
Zoicite: *pounces out of cave all cat-like and glances around in pounce position* Meeeeoowww  
  
Beryl and the half-eaten Malachite: *hide*  
  
Zoicite: Are telemarketer gone? (A/N: I know I know! I did that on purpose, minna-san...)  
  
Half-eaten Malachite: Be still my beating heart *faints again*  
  
Beryl: *sweatdrop...keelsover from stench of rotted Malachite jacket vest thing*  
  
Zoicite: *retreats back to cave, mumbling about finishing eating Malachite* I eat next telemaketer! *bears just-cemented-in fangs*  
  
~~~  
  
A/N: Yyyyyeess I know, OOC to the extreme!  
  
~~~  
  
Replies:  
  
Crystal Words: ^___^;;; I didn't know it was that funny lol...anyways I hope you like this new chappie ^.^  
  
Shadowfox: ^^;; Ah well lol glad ya liked it...hope ya like this one too!  
  
Ahknee/Kitteen: ^^;;; As you requested the next part is here ^^  
  
Fangirl: LOL For the love of Darien I got it up! ^^ Enjoy! Ja matta, Fangirl-sama ^^;;;;; Trista's also my favorite charrie ^^;; she's da bestest ^.^ and hai they are obviously good reasons ^^  
  
Eo*Angel: ^^ Glad ya liked it!! ^^  
  
Aqua Rhapsody: ^_^ Sure! ^^ I'll definetly write up a Witches 5 chappie for ya ^.~;;;  
  
the princess of the desert: ^^ enjoy the new chapter! ^^  
  
wingnut: Lol, Tara and Aroura are mine and my friends' chars (Tara - my version of Saturn, Aroura - Earth) ^^ Lol anyways glad you liked it read this chappie too!  
  
Everyone else: Sooo sorry for not being able to write ya all back individually but I've gotten so many reviews I dunno who is who anymore lol...DOMO ARIGATOU GOZAIMASU, MINNA-SAN!! 


	4. Chapter Four! Dude, It's the Deathbuster...

The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi Chapter Four: Dude, It's the Death Busters!  
  
A/N: Heyy guys!! Sorry it took so long ::hides from Bobo...sweatdrop:: lol!! Ok, well I've had a lotta stuff going on the past few days and my back hurts from walking to school and back every single day cause that guy thing didn't send the bus passes!! Ern...yeah lol. So anyways here is chapter four, if I get a few more reviews I can promise either another Outer Senshi chapter OR for ya other people, a Three Lights chappie! XD!!!  
  
~~~  
  
Dr. Tomoe is giving one of those lesson things on heart-snatching again to Eugile, Tellulu, Mimete, Viluy, Cyprine when the phone rings. It's not even supposed to be there but it is so Tomoe goes over and picks it up.  
  
~~~  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Yes?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello sir!!! How are you today???  
  
Dr. Tomoe: ....Right.  
  
Telemarketer: Okay! So, sir, are you interested in a prepaid platinum visa card with a 0.001% interest rate?? (A/N: I dunno what I mean by this lol)  
  
Dr. Tomoe: A prepaid what?  
  
Telemarketer: A credit card, dear sir!! Are you interested??  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Do you want to get heart snatched?  
  
Telemarketer: Eh?  
  
Dr. Tomoe: I said do you want to get heart snatched or become a member of my team who'se ultimate goal is to get the Purity Chalice and complete world domination...oops!!!!!!!!! I didn't say that!!!!! Uh, Hotaru! Hotaru, turn down that TV!!! HOTARU TURN DOWN THE TV!!! HOTARU I SAID TURN DOWN THAT TV!!!!!!  
  
Hotaru: *appears outta the shadows* But my TV's broken!!!!!!! And I can't even watch Gilmore Girls because it's broken!!!!!!  
  
Dr. Tomoe: HOTARU GO ALONG WITH WHAT I'M SAYING!!!! I JUST TOLD THIS TELEMARKETER THAT WE'RE TRYING TO GET WORLD DOMINATION AND YOU NEED TO AGREE WITH ME!!!! SO TURN THAT TV DOWN!!! *goes back to telemarketer* Hi.  
  
Telemarketer: Uhh.....bye!  
  
Dr. Tomoe: WAIT YOU LITTLE...!!! DO NOT REPEAT WHAT I SAID TO MY DAUGHTER ABOUT TURNING HER TV DOWN WHEN IT'S BROKEN AND THAT SHE HAS TO TURN IT DOWN AND THAT I AM PLANNING TO DOMINATE THE WORLD---HOTARU TURN OFF THAT RADIO!!!  
  
Hotaru: It's broken too.  
  
Telemarketer: *hangs up* MOMMY A MAN IS TRYIING TO KILL THE WORLD MOMMMMYYYYY!!!!  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Darn it. Lost another victim to the telephones....BLAST IT!!  
  
~  
  
Class: *blink*  
  
Mimete: *looking at a pic of the newest magazine hottie*  
  
*phone rings and scares el stuffing outta Mimete*  
  
Mimete: *picks up phone* Yeah?  
  
~  
Telemarketer: HI PARAKEETNESSES!!!  
  
Mimete: *blink* Uh....who...?  
  
Telemarketer: *hyper* Hii!! I, like, have a call for youuu!!! It's for swiiitching to AT&T!!!  
  
Mimete: *stare* right.  
  
Telemarketer: CHEESE IS FOOOODDD!!! AND IT'S YUMMYY!!!!!!!  
  
Mimete: You odd person you.  
  
Telemarketer: Wanna switch to Ay Teeeeeee and Teeeeeeeeeeeeee??????????  
  
Mimete: Nah that's okay.  
  
Telemarketer: *sob* MEANIE!!  
  
Mimete: You're wierd.  
  
Telemarketer: *sniff* want a phone ceeeaaarrrddddd??  
  
Mimete: Got one already.  
  
Telemarketer: *sssooobbbb*  
  
Mimete: Um...are...you....o..k??  
  
Telemarketer: MOMMY, MOMMY SHE WAS MEAN TO MEEEEEEEEE!! *hangs up*  
  
Mimete: *blink, stare* uhm.....right....ssuuure...yeeeah...mmmhm.  
  
~  
*Tellulu goes to call her latest boyfriend [who was really a cheesecake] when the phone rings...picks it up anyways*  
  
Telemarketer: Hi Miss, I work with Target, we are currently selling--  
  
Tellulu: *cuts off telemarketer* POKEMON MON MON MON MON MON MON MON MON...  
  
Telemarketer: Actually, we're selling--  
  
Tellulu: *again* POKEMON MON MON MON MON MON MON MON MON...  
  
Telemarketer: Um--  
  
Tellulu: RAICHU, USE THUNDERBOTLS NOW!!  
  
Some Yellow Mouse Thing That Appeared Outta Nowhere: RRAAAAAIIIIICCCHHHHHUUUUU!!!!!!!!!!!! *zap*  
  
Telemarketer: *Fries* Um....  
  
Tellulu: POKEMON MON MON MON MON MON!!!! I WANNA BEEEEEE, THE VEERY BEESTT, LIKE NOOO ONNNEEE EVER WWWWAAASSS, *da da da DAAA* TO CATCH THEM IS MY REAL QUEST, TO TRAAIN THEM IS MY CCAAAAUUUSSEE *dun dun dun* I WILL TRAAVEEEL 'CROSS THE LAND... *da da da* SEARCHING FAAAR AND WIIIDDEEEE *da da da DA* EACH POKEMON, TO UNNNDDEEERRRSTAAAND, THE POWWER THAT'S INSIIIIIDEE *da da da* GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL, IT'S YOU AND MEEE, *swish* I KNOW IT'S MY DESTINYYY, *POKEMON* OHHHHH YOU'RE MY BEEST FRIIIIEEEEND, IN A WORLD WE MUST DEFEEEEENDD, POKEMON! A HEART SO TRRRRUUUEE, OUR COURAGE WILL PULL US THRRROUUUGGGGH, YOU TEACH ME AND I'LL TEEEACH YOUUUU, POOOKEEEEEMMOOOOONNNN... *whish* GOTTA CATCH 'EM AAAALLLLLL, PPOOOOKKEEMMOONN!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: *bbbblllllliiiiinnnnkkkkkk* Um.....right...?  
  
Tellulu: GO, VAPOREON!!! ICE BEAM!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: MOMMY A TV SHOW IS REAL MOOMOMMMYYYY!!! *hangs up and runs*  
  
Tellulu: *shrugs and hums the Pokemon song to herself while playing her gamegirl*  
  
~  
Eugile: *yawns as phone rings* *picks it up* Yeah?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello miss. Did you know you qualify for a prepaid visa mastercard?  
  
Eugile: A what?  
  
Telemarketer: A credit card.  
  
Eugile: Nah, that's okay, I already used Dr. Tomoe's up  
  
Dr. Tomoe: -.-;;;;;;;;;;;;;; YOU WHAT?!  
  
Eugile: OH! Look at the time, I must go!  
  
Telemarketer: Uh...wait! Wait wait wait! You don't have to pay for this one at all!  
  
Eugile: I'M ABOUT TA GET KILLED HERE IF YA DUN MIND,  
  
Telemarketer: Go right along then. I'll be waiting.  
  
Eugile: Shut up, you egatistical mongoose!  
  
Telemarketer: Is that so, radioactive cheesecake!  
  
Eugile: Yes it is, monosodium-glutimate icecream! Now goodbye! *hangs up*  
  
~  
All: *blink*  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Egatistical what?  
  
Mimete: Monosodium glue-a-guy?  
  
Tellulu: Mongoose?!  
  
~  
  
*the phone rings*  
  
Viluy: *picks it up* Hello? *in snooty schoolgirl voice*  
  
Telemarketer: Please hold. We have an important call for you.  
  
Viluy: No you don't!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes we do!  
  
Viluy: How do you know?  
  
Telemarketer: Because I'm a telemarketer!  
  
Viluy: But you don't have ultimate control of the universe!  
  
Telemarketer: So?  
  
Viluy: YOU GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY MAN, YOU OVER-RATED PERV!  
  
Telemarketer: You're wearing my undershirt!  
  
Viluy: I would never--!!  
  
Dr. Tomoe: *cuts in on the other line* Ok, telemarketer get your hands off of Vil's guy and don't try anything with him or else you'll get heartsnatched and Vil give the telemarketer back his undershirt and anything else you stole from him.  
  
Viluy: DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOU JUST SAID?!  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Vil, remember I'm doing the shopping for dinner tonight...  
  
Telemarketer: Is there something odd here or is it just me?  
  
Vil and Dr. Tomoe: YES THERE IS SOMETHING ODD  
  
Viluy: It's you, telemarketer! And don't go near my guy!  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Yeah! Go away you big meanie!  
  
All: *hang up*  
  
~  
  
Cyprine: *eyes the phone as it rings and picks it up*  
  
Telemarketer: HIII!!!  
  
Cyprine: Hi!  
  
Telemarketer: Want a phone card?  
  
Cyprine: Hi!  
  
Telemarketer: Are you ok?  
  
Cyprine: Hi!  
  
Telemaketer: Miss?  
  
Cyprine: Hi!  
  
Telemarketer: ...Miss...?  
  
Cyprine: Hi!  
  
Telemarketer: Listen you stupid fool of a thing...say something other than hi!  
  
Cyprine: Nope! *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Vil...Vil where is my credit card...  
  
Vil: *hides behind Mimete and Tellulu*  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Vil...  
  
Vil: *-.-;;; runs and hides in a bathroom*  
  
Dr. Tomoe: Vil, I want my credit card...  
  
~~~  
  
END! So, ya like?? ^^;;;  
  
Keep an eye out for chapter four okay?  
  
JA! ~TaraSaturn~ 


	5. Chapter Five! Zirc, Who Put the Phone He...

The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi Chapter Five: Zirc, Who Put the Phone Here?!  
  
A/N: Yo! I got like soo many requests for a Dark Moon Circus chapter..um. Lol, I hope I got this right! *Aren't* the dream snatcher people the Dark Moon Circus? I think they are...if they're not tell me! Hehe, I don't pay much attention to the names of the bad people all too much, hehe...anywho, even if I got it wrong this chap will be funny ok? ^^;; and PLEASE REVIEW MORE! ^.^ ::blushes at one review:: lol Myst Lady I'm not that cool lol...but ty!! ^^;;;  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I had no idea this story would become so popular.  
  
YAY! I finally got around to writing this...and now I have more requests to fill out. One person reccomended mixing the Outers and Starlights in the next chap....I'll give it a shot XD;;  
  
On with the story!  
  
~~~  
  
That ugly old guy named Zirconia is talking to the Amazon Trio and the Amazon Quartet one night about how delicious cheesecake is. [worship the cheesecake! I commandeth thee!]. The trio is [are? o.o] wondering how they got out of that Pegasus forest thing and somehow back into their bodies. [in this story Fish-eye is a girl], and PallaPalla and JunJun are eyeing the cheesecake in a frezy of hyper active mongeesenessesmoo [o.o;;?], waiting for the flying eyeball to go away so that they can eat...WHEN! DA DA DA DA DA DAAAAAA!! THE PHONE RINGS!! How did it get there? wonder the amazed people. WHO WOULD DARE INTERUPT CHEESECAKE?!, they wonder further. AND WHY DON'T YOU FEEL THE EARTH SPIN?!, they cannot answer the last question because the phone is too loud, and it is evil! So they pick it up! AND ALAS, WHO CAN IT BE?! YES! YOU'RE RIGHT! A TELEMARKETER!! HAHA! Um..hi. AND I LOVE BEING A NUTCASE!!  
  
~~~  
  
JunJun: *picks up phone* yeah?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi Miss. How are you today?  
  
JunJun: Cheesecake.  
  
Telemarketer: Ah, yes, yes indeed..cheesecake...mm... Ah! Sorry. Um, wanna switch to AT&T?  
  
JunJun: I think we have AT&T already. Why does my hair smell like smoke? [p.p;;;]  
  
Telemarketer: Oh. Well, do you want a free phone line?  
  
JunJun: Got like 50 already. Mongeese are fun to poke!  
  
Telemarketer: Right. Are you over the age of--  
  
JunJun: Yeah yeah, I don't need the shpeel, I'm under 35, I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't drive. I graduated college 35 years ago and I work as a kid for a guy wanting to take over the world. I make no sense. Cheese is food.  
  
Telemarketer: *blink* um, I was gonna ask are you over 13...  
  
JunJun: Um...yes. At least I think so. I lost count some 10 years ago.  
  
Telemarketer: Um..  
  
JunJun: Do you like sports?  
  
Telemarketer: Do you like AT&T?  
  
JunJun: I asked first!  
  
Telemarketer: No you didn't.  
  
JunJun: Yeah I did. I gotta go milk my dog.  
  
Telemarketer: Don't you mean cow?  
  
JunJun: WHAT IS IT WITH PEOPLE THESE DAYS?! DOG MILK IS JUST AS GOOD EVEN THOUGH IT'S NOT SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN TO BE GOOD FOR HUMANS...OH, WILL THE CONSPIRACY NEVER END?! *overly dramatic*  
  
Telemarketer: ....Are you high?  
  
JunJun: ZZZZIIIIIIIRRRRRCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Zirc: LEAVE MY GIRL ALONE!!  
  
Telemarketer: O.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
Zirc: Um..I didn't mean THAT way..  
  
Telemarketer: Oh.  
  
JunJun: I want ice cream!  
  
Zirc: Telemarketer, get her ice cream  
  
Telemarketer: No  
  
Zirc: I COMMAND YOU!  
  
Telemarketer: Bow to the cheesecake! *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
JunJun: *mutter* icceee creeaamm....  
  
*phone rings*  
  
~  
  
Fish-eye: Moo? *picks it up* Er, I mean....fish?  
  
Telemarketer: Fish? Where's fish? I WANT FISH!!  
  
Hawks-eye: *cuts in* LEAVE FISH ALONE OR I'LL...I'LL....I'LL EAT YOU!  
  
Telemarketer: FISH IS A PERSON?!  
  
Hawk and Fish: YES FISH IS A PERSON...WHAT DID YOU THINK?!  
  
Telemarketer: Well, the fish is usually an ocean animal found in water that cannot live out of water and it eats things in the water and---  
  
Fish-eye: SHHADDAAP! I AM FISH!!!  
  
Telemarketer: o.O;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;; um....  
  
Hawks-eye: ONE!  
  
Fish-eye: TWO!  
  
Zirc: You're attempting this through a phone...?  
  
Telemarketer: Um...hi?  
  
Zirc: I'm surrounded by idiots.  
  
---  
  
Author: SHAADAP YA OLD WIERD LOOKING THING!! I'M WRITING THIS STORY HERE!!  
  
All: Precisely.  
  
Author: I have a fork. Be careful. *whips out fork from some subspace place thing*  
  
All: -.-;;  
  
Author: MY FORK DOES NOT LIKE BEING INSULTED...ON WITH THE STORY....  
  
---  
  
Telemarketer: Um, you do know that I'm still on the phone...right? Should I go?  
  
--  
  
Author: Noo, just stay there and watch the insanity....*fork*  
  
--  
  
Zirc: Geat outta hea!  
  
Fish-eye: Eh?  
  
Zirc: I said 'Get outta here' to the Telemarketer.  
  
Fish-eye: Oh.  
  
Telemarketer: Oh, too. *hangs up...wonders who the nutcase with the fork is*  
  
--  
  
Author: I HEARD THAT...ER....MOO..  
  
--  
  
PallaPalla: I'M BORED!  
  
CereCere: ME TOO!  
  
VesVes: ME THREEE!  
  
JunJun: ME FOUR!  
  
Fish-eye: ME FIVE!!  
  
Tigers-eye: ME SIX!!  
  
Hawks-eye: OH, SHADDAP! *picks up phone*  
  
~  
  
Hawks-eye: Yellow?  
  
Telemarketer: Yellow?  
  
Hawks-eye: Huh?  
  
Telemarketer: Huh?  
  
Hawks-eye: Eh?  
  
Telemarketer: Eh?  
  
Haws-eye: STOP MOCKING ME!  
  
Telemarketer: But I'm confused...oh! Yeah! Wanna switch to IDT? We offer the lowest long distance prices, at only 5¢ a minute. Yep, that's better than--  
  
Hawks-eye: -.-;;; you do know we already have IDT over here, right?  
  
Telemarketer: Oh.  
  
Hawks-eye: Yes. Now....bye  
  
Telemarketer: Ah! I forgot! I'm with AT&T! SORRY!!! So wanna switch to AT&T? I mean, oops! I meant Sprint! NO, MCI! I mean--Pacific Bell DSL! NO WAIT THAT'S WRONG TOO! Uh, I mean, I work with Burger King! No, no! Oops, really I work with McDonalds! NO WAIT! Wrong too! I work with--  
  
Hawks-eye: The Extremely Forgetful People.  
  
Telemarketer: How'd you know? I mean, how did you know that I work with the what was it called again? Or..what's that word? Repeatedly? NO! Um...?  
  
Hawks-eye: Get some cheesecake, man, it solves everything...*hangs up and stuffs face with delicious cheesecake*  
PallaPalla: *mutters as phone rings again* Hilow?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi, I work with Mattel--  
  
PallaPalla: I'M A BARBIE GIRL, IN A BARBIE WOOOOOORRRRRRRRLLLDDD, LIFE IS PLASTIC! IS FANTASTIC!! YOU CAN BRUSH MY HAIR! AND TAKE ME EVERYYYWHEEEEERRREEE!! IMAGINATION!!! LIFE IS YOUR CREAATTIIIOOONN!!  
  
Telemarketer: YOU WIN!  
  
PallaPalla: *blink* win???  
  
Telemarketer: I was gonna ask if you knew the Barbie Girl song---  
  
PallaPalla: COME ON BARBIE LETS GO PARTY!!  
  
Telemarketer: YAY! YOU KNOW THE SONG!  
  
PallaPalla: SUFFICATION HAS NO BREATHING!! THIS IS MY LAST RESORT!!  
  
Telemarketer: That's not part of the song.  
  
PallaPalla: Um, I mean, I'M A BARBIE GIRL! IN A BARBIE WORRRRRLDDD!!  
  
Telemarketer: Close enough....ok...here's your prize!! *manipulates hisself into a device which can transport a loaf of bread through the phone* here ya go!  
  
PallaPalla: ....moo....YOU'RE MEAN!!  
  
Telemarketer: And bread is ffoodd! *hangs up*  
  
PallaPalla: *scarfes down bread like a barbarian* muahahahaha!! QUEEN OF DA BREAD!!!!!!!  
*the phone rings as Tiger's Eye walks by..he picks it up* yeheh?  
  
Telemarketer: Yes, hello, sir, I am calling on behalf of--  
  
Tiger's Eye: HERE WE GO ROUND THE MULLBERRY BUSH, THE MONKEY CHASED THE WEEEEAAASLE!! DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, PPPPPOOOOOOPPPPPP GOES DDDAAAA WEEEEEEAAAASSEEELL!!  
  
Telemarketer: YOU'RE MISSING SOME WORDS!!  
  
Tiger's Eye: SWOLLEN WOLIN! SWOLLEN WOLIN, SWOLLEN WOLIN, SSSSWWWWWWWOOOOLLLLLEEEEEN WOOOLLLIIIINNNNN!!! [1]  
  
Telemarketer: Swollen Wolin?  
  
Tiger's Eye: LLLLAAAAARRRRGGGEEEEE MAAAARRRRGGGGGGEEEEEEEE!!! [2]  
  
Telemarketer: HOW DARE YOU DISS THE SIMPSONS!!!  
  
Tiger's Eye: IT'S TIME FOR DA STTTTYYYYYYLLLLLEEEEEEEEEE FYYYYYYYYYYLLLLLLLLLLEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: Style fyle?  
  
Tiger's Eye: YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! DIGITAL DIGITAL GET DOWN!! JUST YOU AND MEEEE!! GET TOGETHER NATURALLY, I CAN SEEE YAA, AND BABY BABY YOU CAN SEE MEEEHHEEEEEE!!!!! [3]  
  
Telemarketer: ITTT'S FRRIIIDAAAYYY NIIIIGGGGHHTT, AND I JU-JU-JU-JU- JUUUUSSTTTT----GOT PAID!!!!!!!! [4]  
  
Tiger's Eye: WWHHYYYYYYYYY SHHOOUULLLLDDDDDD I CAARRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
Telemarketer: *sniff* Be-be-because...I'M SO SAD! WHY MUST YOU TOURTURE MEEEEEE!  
  
Tiger's Eye: Because you're a telemarketer  
  
Telemarketer: Oh. *hangs up*  
  
Tiger's Eye: *pumps up Em's CD*  
  
---  
  
Short break:  
  
[1]: Swollen Wolin is the name for the REALLY mean substitute my class gets sometimes. We all hate her, so me and my friend call her Swollen Wolin  
  
[2]: Large Marge is the nickname for my principal, some girls really don't like her so they call her Large Marge  
  
[3]: Everything in that sentence except for the "YEEEEE!!!!" is part of an N*SYNC song. No, I'm not obsessed, I just thought it would be humorous  
  
[4]: Yep, you guessed it. Another N*SYNC song.  
  
Back to story.  
  
----  
  
CereCere: *flies around the house with da greatest of ease...she is the girl on the flying...WHERE'S THE TRAPEEZE?!* *a loud crash is heard* OOWWWWIIEEEEE!!!!! *phone rings, picks it up* Yeeeees?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi! I called to sell you a very interesting thing called a moo.  
  
CereCere: Ooooooo....aaahhhh.....THIS ISN'T A COW FARM!  
  
Telemarketer: Nu? *sob*  
  
CereCere: I'M TELLING MY ENEMIES ON YOU!  
  
Telemarketer: Shouldn't you be telling your mom?  
  
CereCere: No, because one of my enemies has powers that can destroy the world....*nodnodnodnodnodnod*  
  
Telemarketer: You shouldn't see her then  
  
CereCere: IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVE A CHOICE WHEN I'M TRYING TO OVERTAKE THE WORLD!!!  
  
VesVes: *cuts in* YEAH, YOU KNOW WE ARE THE "EVIL" PEOPLE IN THE TELEVISION SHOW WHICH IS ACTUALLY A REALITY IN THIS DIMENSION....  
  
Telemarketer: X________x  
  
VesVes and CereCere: YOU KNOW WHAT?! WE GOTTA GO FIGHT S'MORE EVIL, SO CALL BACK! ACTUALLY WE GOTTA GO FIGHT THE GOOD-GUYS WHO ARE REALLY GIRLS, SO MOO!  
  
Telemarketer: Geniussesesesesesesesesesesesesesess  
  
VesVes: THERE WAS SOMETHING YOU WISHED TO SAY MY 'DEAR' TELEMARKETER?!  
  
Telemarketer: No.  
  
VesVes and CereCere: Okay then. Bye. *hang up*  
  
~  
  
Zirc: WILL YOU GUYS HURRY IT UP, WE'RE PAID TO BE ON TIME AND THE SENSHI ARE ALREADY THERE!  
  
All: *RRRRRRRRRUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN to the set*  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Muahahahahaa....I finally updated! Wee! Lol. Been sooooooo busy. Aanywho, TUNE IN NEXT TIME! SAME NUTTY CHANNEL, SAME NUTTY PLACE FOR....  
  
DA TELEMARKETERS MEET DA SENSHI!!!  
  
YAAAAAYYYYYY....^_^  
  
Ja!  
  
TaraSaturn  
  
email: glitzykiss67@aol.com  
  
OR  
  
IM: GuardianPluto27/ DuosHotandMine01 


	6. Chapter Six! Tux Boy vs The Phones!

The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi Chapter Five: Tux Boy vs. The Phones!  
  
A/N: HEY ALL WHASSUP??? Well, I got a sudden wave of inspiration for a chappie where Tux Boy and the Cats get attacked by EEEEEEEEVIL Telemarketer- ness..es... YES ANYWAYS, I believe one of you reviewers suggested that? If so this chappy is for YOU! YES, YOU IN THE BLUE SHIRT! [hehe] lol. You...*ARE*...wearing blue right? AH! HOW would I know lol. Call it women's intuition!! Lol. Kekko, so READ! READ I TELL YOU! R/R and you'll see more!!!  
  
Black Ninja Star: Hehe, this story is a result of my own nuttinesss and my hatred for EEEEEEVVVVVIIIILLLLLLLL telemarketers...ooo...I got a good idea for the next chappienesesessesese...heeehheee!! ^_^  
  
~~~  
  
Darien is for some reason cat-sitting Luna, Artimes, and Diana one day while Rini, Serena, and Mina go to Tokyo Disneyland with all the other Senshi [yep even the Outers] and they're having one helluva time and leave "poor" Tux Boy to feed the Cats and...NOO!!! IMPOSSIBLE!! FEND OFF TELEMARKETERS TOO?!?!?!?!  
  
Much chaos and humor ensue.  
  
~~~  
  
Darien: LUNA WAIT, THAT'S NOT CAT--...FOOD....  
  
Luna: WHAT?! *spits out DOG food* SCINCE WHEN DO YOU HAVE A MONGOOSE AS A PET?!  
  
Diana: YOU MEAN THIS ISN'T MONKEY FOOD?!  
  
Artimes: WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO WHEN YOU CAN'T FIND GOOD KANGAROO CHOW...  
  
Darien: *thinking- Serena's gonna kill me--there goes my future, Mina is gonna kill me--ATTACK OF THE CRAZY MODEL WANNABE!, Rini is gonna kill me-- egads; my own kid, Amy is gonna kill me; eep must hide from Textbook of Doom, Lita is gonna kill me; MOMMY!, Raye is gonna kill me; darn those li'l scroll things.., Aroura is gonna kill me--eep, here comes a tornado, Tara's DEFINETLY gonna kill me--now where did I save my spare life?, Amara's gonna kill me--must find shelter, Michelle will kill me too--gotta run for my life, and oh god Trista's also gonna kill me--here comes that Legendary Time Staff coming at my head...mou...must run for cover!, and so is Chibi Chibi even though she doesn't exist yet!* UH, HOLD ON GUYS, I GOTTA GET THE PHONE!  
  
*he picks up the phone* UH, HELLO?  
  
Telemarketer: YO DUDE WHASSUP?!?! WANNA GET SOME FREE CELL PHONES???  
  
Darien: Uh...no...not reeeeally...  
  
Telemarketer: But...But...But!! DUDE!  
  
Darien: WAH!!  
  
Telemarketer: Mou. DDUUUDDDEEE  
  
Darien: Cheesecake is all! [AN: cheesecake is a funny word, ne?]  
  
Telemarketer: NO WAY DUDE!  
  
Darien: What's with this 'dude'?  
  
Telemarketer: Dude is a dude word.  
  
Darien: ....Right.  
  
Telemarketer: OBEYMEMOTA! *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Phone: *RING*  
  
Luna: *mutters about DOGfood* *picks up phone somehow* Hello??  
  
Telemarketer: Hi! How are you today, ma'am?  
  
Luna: MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW, MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW, MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW MEOW, MEOW MIX!!!  
  
Telemarketer: HOW DID YOU KNOW I WAS GONNA ASK YOU TO BUY MEOW MIX?!  
  
Luna: BECAUSE, I AM THE ALL KNOWING LUNACAT!  
  
Telemarketer: ...cat?  
  
Luna: Yes, I am a cat!!! MEOW! And a talking one!! Can you beat that? BETCHA CAN'T!  
  
Telemarketer: Well, I'm really a dog in disguise!! WOOF WOOF WOOF WOOF WWWWWWOOOOOOOFFFFF!!  
  
Luna: AAHH!!! DOG!!! *hangs up*  
  
Telemarketer: O__o I didn't think that would wo---THAT REALLY WAS A CAT!! o_O;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
~  
  
Darien: *in his room, woe-ing about how the Senshi are gonna kill him for no good reason*  
  
----  
  
Author: yes, Tux Boy, you shall diee....muahahahahahahahahaha...  
  
Some Darien Fan: NNUUU!!  
  
Author: DOWN WITH THE TUX!!!  
  
Some Other Darien Fan: NO! YOU CAN'T!  
  
Author: I'M the author here!! NOT YA!  
  
Yet Another Darien Fan: Eavil person..  
  
Author: DOWN WIT DA TUX!!  
  
Yes, I am a nut...bwahahahaha...*snicker**cough**snicker*  
  
----  
  
Phone: *RRRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG*  
  
Artemis: *jumps 23.4587587049578023457923471534905734895934589023475890123757128957349573490 573489 ft. in the air* DAH!!!! *sees phone* ooo....phonnneeee....must pick it up!!!! *goes and does so* Mer--um, hi  
  
Telemarketer: Hiiiiiiiiiiiii, are you interested in winning a new car? ^_^  
  
Artemis: No, I just hitch a ride on Amara's car....when she lets me.....or.....when she doesn't notice.. x.X  
  
Amara: *pops up outta nowhere* .........-.- ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;.......... *dissapears again*  
  
Artemis: *trembles* or....not....not anymore at least....*coughshe'llkillmecough*  
  
Telemarketer: Ah..well...don't you want your own car?  
  
Artemis: No, can't drive  
  
Telemarketer: Why not?  
  
Artemis: I'm a cat!  
  
Telemarketer: Is that so?  
  
The Duo-Kawaiiness from Gundam Wing: *knocks on door, comes in, takes phone* Yep, that's so! *snicker*  
  
Telemarketer: X____X  
  
Duo-Kawaiiness: Well, gotta go! See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya! *exists* [A/N: I want my own Duo!! He's so CUTE!!!!!!!!!! Hehe, love 'im...^_^]  
  
Artemis: How did he get in here? HE'S NOT FROM THIS DIMENSION!! *calls out door* WRONG ANIME!!!!!  
  
Duo-Kawaiiness: Oh well *flies off in Deathscythe* Bye bud!  
  
Telemarketer: X_____x WHAT IS GOING ON?! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!  
  
Artemis: I dunno, a guy from ANOTHER ANIME LET ALONE DIMENSION popped up outta nowhere, came into my house, and spoke on the phone. He then dissapeared in a big flying robot...o.o  
  
Duo-Kawaiiness From Somewhere in Space: IT'S A GUNDAM!! A GUNDAM!!! GAHH...  
  
Telemarketer: A what?  
  
Duo-Kawaiiness From Somewhere in Space: A GUNDAM!! G-U-N-D-A-M!! GGGAAAHHHH....baka telemarketers....and they call me a baka! o.o;; how did I get into this dimension/anime anyways? o.o.....  
  
Artemis: ALLRIGHT! WE HEARD YOU! IT'S A GUNDAM! *to telemarketer* um, I gotta go and tell one of the Senshi that something happened at the Time Gates where a guy from another dimension/anime appeared...byeeee!  
  
Telemarketer: Senshi? Time Gates? Time has Gates?  
  
Artemis: How else do you think it works?  
  
Telemarketer: Advanced science?  
  
Artemis: NO, GENIUS, SAILOR PLUTO!  
  
Telemarketer: Oh. Ok.  
  
Artemis: Now byeeeeeeeeee *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Artemis: *calls the Outers*  
  
Amara: *picks up phone* DIE TELEMARKETER!!  
  
Tara: That's my line.....  
  
Amara: Oh well. Yes?? *to Artemis*  
  
Artemis: Can I talk to Trista?  
  
Amara: Oh...yeeah...sure....*hands Trista the phone*  
  
Trista: What?  
  
Artemis: A guy from another dimension/anime came to my house today.  
  
Trista: Your point?  
  
Artemis: HELLOOOOO  
  
Trista: it's only bad guys I'm not allowed to let through....soo....yeeeah...buh-byeee *hangs up*  
  
Tara: ??????  
  
Trista: Nevermind  
  
Aroura: Okie dokie  
  
~  
  
*Diana walks around the house with that evil little bell thingy [x.x] and it's jingling*  
  
---  
  
Author: C'meerreee Diaaannaaa.... *Diana comes* Hi there, can I borrow something?  
  
Diana: Sure  
  
Author: I'll only be borrowing this until the end of this chapter...*removes the bell* ok  
  
Diana: -.-  
  
Author: It annoys me..x.x;;;;;;; ok I'll give it back at the end....  
  
Diana: Okies  
  
Author: *hehehehehehehe*  
  
---  
  
*Diana goes to pick up the phone which is ringing. She can't so she slaps the speaker button* Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi the--  
  
Diana: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE?! YESH LACH GERI SHELL HA...  
  
---  
  
Author: Mom how do you say fingers in hebrew?  
  
Mom: Bah-oht  
  
Author: Kay  
  
---  
  
ehem,  
  
Diana: WHAT IS IT WITH YOU PEOPLE?! YESH LACH GERI SHELL HA BAH-OHT?! YOU KEEP ON CALLING?!  
  
Telemarketer: Um...um....um...WWWWWAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!! *hangs up*  
  
Diana: Now where'd that one come from? *goes to author to get her bell back*  
  
Author: No, I didn't finish this chapter yet. Hang on  
  
Diana: *pouts*  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Well, there's another dose of insanity ^_^;;;;  
  
By the way, "yesh lach geri shell ha bah-oht" means "Do you have diarreah of the fingers?!"  
  
My mom said she'd say that to the next telemarketer that calls. God, I'd hate to be that telemarketer X_____X;;;;  
  
Anyways... *gives Diana back the Bell of Annoyingness*  
  
Ja matta! I'm getting that starlights chapter out soon, I just had to finish this one XD  
  
cya! *makes Duo-Kawaiiness appear, hugs him forever and ever and ever* MY DUO! ^____________^  
  
Hehe, I love Duo! Hence my AIM screen-name, DuosHotandMine01  
  
Duo: Yay  
  
Me: *still hugging Duo* ttyl peeps! I'm gonna try to get that chapter out soon! ^_^;;;  
  
email: glitzykiss67@aol.com  
  
OR  
  
IM: DuosHotandMine01 


	7. Chapter Seven! Starlight, Starbright, SO...

The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi Chapter Seven: Starlight, Starbright, SOMEONE SHUT UP THE PHONE!  
  
Hehe, so yer back for another chapter of my insanity? YAY! YOU LIKE ME, YOU REALLY LIKE ME! XD;; yes, I know I am loved..muahahahahhahahaha!!! O.O;;; ok, yes I still have my head on...believe it or not....o.o.....Heehee! SOO, in case you haven't had your daily dose of complete nuttiness with no boundaries (let alone DE TWILIGHT ZONE..NESS...O.O...), here is chapter seven of my totally nutty story! 'Cause I'm a nut! XD NUTTERS RULE THE WORLD!!!!!!!!! Mhm, mhm, they do *nod nod nod nod* seeeeeeeeee I toldja I'd update...XD. o.O;;; today, I got attacked by a bucket of water...don't ask... Heehee, went to Universal Studios (which is only 10 mins away from my apt. x.x), hehe so let's say...CHEESECAKE!!! (in case you haven't noticed yet, I *LOVE* the cheesecakenesses...XD)  
  
Disclaimer: I've never done one of these in my life, as it's obvious I ain't got the money to buy SM...if I did I would kill Tux Boy and turn him into a mongoose. Yes, that's A CAPED MONGOOSE YOU SEE COMING TO RESCUE SAILOR MOON! O.O oh my beeping god, that would turn Rini into SUCH a mutant...O.O;;;;;;;;;....and make Serena a very big wierdo for loving a mongoose...o.o;;;...BUT, it would be so funny we'd all die laughing! XD;; Um, I don't own Sailor Moon...but..I do own Tara...and my friend owns Aroura...but we like share our chars...so yeah ^^. Nor will I ever own Sailor Moon, 'cause the most money I currently have is 25¢...and that will only get me a jawbreaker ;-;. Also I would make the Outers the main chars and shove the Inners off to the sides..and Pluto would be the Princess! Yay ^^  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Taiki [eew], Yaten [my fav ^_^] and Seiya [eh, no comment] were sitting around doing nothing. Or, sorta. Taiki was diving headfirst into the computer screen, engrossed in an article on CNN.com about one of the reporters. Seiya was pigging out on sour cream and onion lays potato chips [my personal fav. ^^], and Yaten was being...Yaten. All was quiet and still...until....  
  
~  
  
Phone: *RRRRRIIINNNNGGGGG!!!!*  
  
Taiki: *yelps* aahhh!!  
  
Seiya: *munches on chips* get the phone  
  
Yaten: Me?  
  
Seiya: *shakes head, swallows chips* Taiki. He's closest  
  
Yaten: Oh  
  
Phone: *RINGETY RING RING RING!!!!*  
  
Yaten and Seiya: GET THE PHONE!  
  
Taiki: Ok, ok! *goes to get the phone*  
  
~  
  
Taiki: Yeees?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello! How are you today?  
  
Taiki: None of your beepety beepness buisness...  
  
Telemarketer: Oh my  
  
Taiki: Battleships rule  
  
Telemarketer: Evil  
  
Taiki: You  
  
Telemarketer: Eh? AH! Yeah, um, wanna get a free cell?  
  
Taiki: Nah, not really...  
  
Telemarketer: But you know what?  
  
Taiki: What?  
  
Telemarketer: I like cheese, and so should you  
  
Taiki: I'm lactose intolerant  
  
Telemarketer: So you should like lactose free cheese  
  
Taiki: I DON'T LIKE CHEESE SO LEAMME ALONE!  
  
Telemarketer: I dun wanna  
  
Taiki: Why?  
  
Telemarketer: Umm...  
  
---  
  
Author: *whispers* because a fan told me to give Taiki extra tourture..  
  
Telemarketer: *lightbulb* ah! Ok  
  
Author: *shoves Telemarketer back to conversation* now go!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes ma'am x.x  
  
---  
  
Telemarketer: Because the author's fan told her to give you extra tourture  
  
Taiki: *glares at phone* so?  
  
Author: I gotta do what my reviewers want...so put up with it OR ELSE! *fork appears*  
  
Taiki: X__________x how did you get in here?  
  
Telemarketer: Yeah?  
  
Author: Duh. I'm the writer.  
  
Taiki and Telemarketer: Oh  
  
Author: Yep XD  
  
Telemarketer: Ok, so, MOO!!  
  
Taiki: Oink  
  
Telemarketer: Woof  
  
Taiki: Meow  
  
Telemarketer: Neigh  
  
Taiki: SHUT UP!  
  
Telemarketer: No  
  
Taiki: Yes!  
  
Telemarketer: No!  
  
Taiki: Yes!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes!  
  
Taiki: No!  
  
Telemarketer: *sticks out tounge* pth pth pth pth pth!!!!  
  
Taiki: Oh yeah?! Pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth pth!!!!  
  
*they go on forever*  
  
Seiya and Yaten: SHUT UP!  
  
Taiki: SEIYA MAKE THE TELEMARKETER STOP!  
  
Seiya: *whacks telemarketerness* DIEEEEEEEE  
  
Taiki: *cheer*  
  
Yaten: *sweatdrop*  
  
Telemarketer: x_________X  
  
Seiya: Can't this guy stay dead?! x.x;;; *kills the telemarketer*  
  
Telemarketer: AUTHOR THEY'RE KILLING ME!  
  
Author: Duh.  
  
Telemarketer: SAVE MEEEEE! *cling*  
  
Author: .;;;!!!! DUN DO THAT! *whacks telemarketer with shoe*  
  
Telemarketer: x.x  
  
Taiki: YAY!! IT'S DEAD!  
  
Author: *bow, bow* thank ya, thank ya very much *picks up rose from floor* yay  
  
~  
  
Phone: *is dead*  
  
Taiki: *writes an email to hisself about the evils of telemarketers*  
  
Seiya: *gorges on another bag of chips when the dead phone rings* *picks it up* Yeh? *says through mouth of chips*  
  
Telemarketer: HI! GUESS WHAT!  
  
Seiya: *swallow* what?  
  
Telemarketer: YOU WON A TRIP TO JAPAN!  
  
Seiya: I am in Japan.  
  
Telemarketer: ....  
  
Seiya: ...  
  
Telemarketer: No, you don't  
  
Seiya: Yes, I do  
  
Telemarketer: Then how come you speak English so well?  
  
Seiya: Ask the nutcase writing this story  
  
Telemarketer: Ok, how does he speak English?  
  
Author: Because my Japanese isn't good enough to write not in English...  
  
Telemarketer: Oh  
  
Seiya: *grumble*  
  
Telemarketer: SO...say something in Japanese  
  
Seiya: Watashi no namae Seiya, to sumu no uchi ni Nihon  
  
Telemarketer: Translation?  
  
Seiya: My name is Seiya and I live in Japan  
  
Telemarketer: Oh  
  
Seiya: Yeah  
  
Telemarketer: I'm bored  
  
Seiya: Go listen to some music  
  
Telemarketer: Ok *does so*  
  
Seiya: muahahaha..*hang up*  
  
~  
  
*the phone rings and Yaten is forced to pick it up*  
  
Yaten: Yeah?  
  
Telemarketer: Hello may I speak with Mr. Kou please?  
  
Yaten: Which one?  
  
Telemarketer: Mr. Kou  
  
Yaten: WHICH MR. KOU?! THERE'S THREE!  
  
Telemarketer: No, there's one  
  
Yaten: No, there's three  
  
Telemarketer: How would you know?  
  
Yaten: Hmm, lesse, I am one  
  
Telemarketer: x_x  
  
Yaten: whoop-de-cheesecakein-do  
  
Telemarketer: Cheesecake?! Where?! I want cheesecake!  
  
Yaten: Not telling  
  
Telemarketer: Why?  
  
Yaten: *shrug* dunno, 'cause I don't wanna  
  
Telemarketer: Oh  
  
Yaten: OMIGOD SHOELACES!  
  
Telemarketer: ????  
  
Yaten: Nothing  
  
Telemarketer: Oh  
  
Yaten: *sees bug* OMIGOD SH..APE METAL!  
  
Telemarketer: Now what?  
  
Yaten: B-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-b-BUG!!!!!!  
  
Telemarketer: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ! *hangs up and runs*  
  
Yaten: *shrug* *goes back to being hisself*  
  
Door: *knocks*  
  
Yaten: *opens* yeah?  
  
Police: Is there a bug here?  
  
Yaten: No, just my imagination  
  
Police: Oh  
  
Yaten: *closes door and flops on the couch, snores quickly fill the room*  
  
Seiya: SHUT UP!  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Hehehee srry if this chap sucks, I'm bored lol.  
  
AAaaaaannnyyyywaaayyysss, tune in next time forrrr...  
  
THE TELEMARKETERS MEET THE SENSHI!  
  
XD *still hugging her Duo-Kawaiiness...ain't ever gonna let go*  
  
someone give me a plushie? Quatre is also cute! But...my Duo is cuter!! ^_^ *grins*  
  
Hehe, I love my Duo XD  
  
Ja matta! Keep an eye out for chapter eight!  
  
TaraSaturn aka TS-chan  
  
*notices her nail polish is coming off....sweatdrop*  
  
email: glitzykiss67@aol.com  
  
OR  
  
IM: DuosHotandMine01 


	8. Chapter Eight! The Starseeds of Telephon...

The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi Chapter 8: The Starseeds of Telephone-ness!  
  
HIYLOW!!! ^_^;;;; yayyyy my story is getting popular. Please help me reach 100 reviews!! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!! I wanna have a famous fic like the wonderful and skilled writer Lady Grizabella ^_^ And you guys can help me get there! I promise to keep up the work if you guys promise to help me get to 100! (I'll prolly just keep on writing anyways x.x lol I love writing) but pleeease I really wanna reach 100! Aaanywho, I feel like writing something really funny. Well, duh, this IS my humor fic. Hmm...lesse...what people shall I pester the heck outta with telephone calls todayyyy? *coughgalaxiacough* *coughcoughcoughcough* read the title! lol XD anywho, some notes:  
  
Cheerleader Bijou: YAY! I'm honored that you wanna use my Japanese insults! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: *sigh* must I really put this? We all know I don't own SM...yet...  
  
Duo: x.X;;; does that mean you're really gonna turn Tux Boy into a mongoose?  
  
TaraSaturn: Er...well, yes...prolly... *glomps Duo*  
  
Duo: *is glomped* yay!  
  
TaraSaturn: ^__________^ my Duo-Kawaiiness AISHITERU DUO-KUN!!!  
  
Duo: yay! ^___________________^  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Galaxia and her minions are sitting around in some place thingy (prolly a Starbucks or Coffee Bean) playing video games (Super Mario 64 on N64 in case you were wondering...actually that's what I have in my N64 currently..hehe, must beat evil Bowser....muahahahaha....), and Iron Mouse is whining about how Lead Crow is kicking her *ahem* in another game which is for some reason hooked up to the same TV. Galaxia and Aluminum Siren are chatting while playing a driving game (Cruisin' the USA), and the other Galaxia person who I forgot the name....um....lesse....there's Aluminum Siren, Lead Crow, Iron Mouse...Tin Cat? x.x;;; that doesn't really sound right...um....Tin....Tin...Arrow? No...Tin....Cat? Gah, that's what the site thing I checked out said, so Tin Cat. XD [Duo: x.x;;;; and I thought you were the Sailor Moon genius. Me: -.-;;;;; what, I never saw Stars...]  
  
~~~  
  
Phone: *ring**ring**ring*  
  
Aluminum Siren: *picks it up* Yeah?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi, are you--  
  
Aluminum Siren: AHH! NO! STOP!! NO NO NO DON'T! AHAH!! NO YOU'RE KILLING ME!! AAHHH!! I'M CRASHING!! AHH!! NO STOP!!! AAHH!! PLEASE!!! DON'T DO THAT!! AAHHH!! NOOOOOOO!!! *referring to the game*  
  
Telemarketer: O.O;;;;;  
  
Aluminum Siren: HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?! YOU LEFT ME TO DIEEEEEE!! I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FRIEND! *still referring to the game*  
  
Telemarketer: Um....you're not busy, are you? I could call back later...  
  
Aluminum Siren: OOO! YEAH! OH YEAH! OH YEAH! I RRU~LE! GIVE IT TO ME BAYBEE!!!! *means the trophy in the game from winning the car race*  
  
Telemarketer: X_____X;;;;; O____O!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Aluminum Siren: *accidentaly sits on the phone while doing her victory dance and turns it off*  
  
Telemarketer: X_____________X;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;;  
  
~  
  
Galaxia: Lumi you killed me!  
  
Alunimun Siren: Well, you almost killed me first, Gala!  
  
Galaxia: Wait, if I (while under Chaos' influence) removed your bracelet thingamabobber how are you still alive?  
  
Aluminum Siren: It's called ice cream  
  
*phone rings, Galaxia picks it up*  
  
~  
  
Galaxia: What?  
  
Telemarketer: Um, hi, uh, this, uh, is, uh, a, uh, very, uh, interesting, uh, offer, uh, that, uh, I, uh, have, uh, to, uh, give, uh, to, uh, you, uh?  
  
Galaxia: -.-;;;;  
  
Telemarketer: ....  
  
Galaxia: ...Lumi?  
  
Author: Wrong person, nitwit, you're supposed to be on the phone with the telemarketer  
  
Galaxia: Oh. Oops.  
  
Author: Yes, oops! Now go on with the conversation...FOR I HAVE A FORK....  
  
Galaxia: *meeps* yessiree ma'am! Um, hi telemarketer can I help you?  
  
Author: *pat* good evil villian  
  
Telemarketer: o.o;; um, yes, can you tell me what my telephone number is because I'm doing a survey, and it's like, new, and like, yeeeeeeeeeau  
  
Galaxia: Author!!!  
  
Author: What do you want now?  
  
Galaxia: I don't understand the telemarketer  
  
Author: *whacks telemarketer* speak in gosh-darned understandable language for cheese's sake  
  
Telemarketer: But isn't this Japan?  
  
Author: Hmm...maybe. But my Japanese isn't good enough...yet...  
  
Duo: I'm starting to become very afraid when she uses the word "yet" x.x;;  
  
Telemarketer and Galaxia: Oh.  
  
Galaxia: I'm bored... Bye *hangs up*  
  
Telemarketer: *shrugs and goes back to gorging on cheesecake* [x.x does anyone here notice I speak of cheesecake a lot?]  
  
.  
  
Phone: *RiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiIiNG*  
  
Iron Mouse: *picks up phone, before it goes through starts talking* Hello?  
  
Telemarketer: ......  
  
Iron Mouse: ......  
  
Telemarketer: ........  
  
Iron Mouse: .......  
  
Telemarketer: ......!!!  
  
Iron Mouse: ....,.....!!.....,........... .... ......,....!!  
  
Telemarketer: ....,.....,......,.......,  
  
Iron Mouse: ... *waits for the telemarketer to say something*  
  
Telemarketer: *hang up*  
  
Iron Mouse: The telemarketer hung up on me  
  
.  
  
Tin Cat: Nitwit  
  
Author: YOU PLAGERIZING NITWIT! NITWIT IS MY WORD!  
  
Tin Cat: YOU'RE the author  
  
Author: Oh, shaddup ya wierd thingamabobber  
  
Tin Cat: Thingamabobber?  
  
Author: *whacks Tin Cat over the head* get on with the story already!  
  
Tin Cat: *meep* ooookietay!  
  
.  
  
Tin Cat: *goes and picks up the phone* Yes?  
  
Telemarketer: YOU'RE PSYCHIC!  
  
Tin Cat: how...................?  
  
Telemarketer: Dunno, just wanted to say that  
  
Tin Cat: Oh  
  
Author: Why do I keep almost writing Tin Car? Oh yeah, 'cause it's easier to type...  
  
Tin Cat: -.-;;; can you stop interupting?  
  
Author: *devil grin* nope!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes, yes indeed, so anyways Tin Car ya wanna buy some cheese?  
  
Tin Cat: CAT! C-A-T! CAT! NOT CAR!  
  
Telemarketer: Yes, anyways. Tin Car, do you wanna buy cheese or not?  
  
Tin Cat: Oh for the love of apple juice...NO!  
  
Telemarketer: .....  
  
Tin Cat: Fish *hangs up*  
  
---  
  
Author: Duo, do you like this so far? *puppy dog eyes*  
  
Duo: Yep...just please don't say "....yet...." anymore  
  
Author: ;-; oki! ^_^ *glomps Duo*  
  
Duo: *is glomped* yay  
  
---  
  
Lead Crow: *has been silent for the duration of the conversation* Can I use the phone?  
  
Phone: *rings as if on cue* RrRrRrIiIiIiInNnNnNnGgGgGg  
  
Lead Crow: *picks up phone* Mikie? Is that you my Mikie?  
  
Telemarketer: ^_^ my name is Mikie but I'm not your Mikie  
  
Lead Crow: You're not my Mikie-nesses?  
  
Telemarketer: Fraid not  
  
Lead Crow: MIKIE DOESN'T LOVE ME ANYMORE!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
All: *sweatdrop*  
  
Lead Crow: MIKIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE  
  
Telemarketer: Um, I think I'll leave you alone? x.x  
  
Lead Crow: ;-; no please! I want a Mikie!  
  
Telemarketer: X_X but I'm married and have three kids [A/N: that's what they always say...since when do so many people have three kids?! x.x]  
  
Lead Crow: You just don't like me, admit it!  
  
Telemarketer: SSSSSSAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! *hangs up*  
  
Lead Crow: *waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh*  
  
All: Hush it ô.ô  
  
Lead Crow: ö.ö  
  
Aluminum Siren: ä.ä  
  
Iron Mouse: £.£  
  
Tin Cat: ?. ?  
  
Galaxia: ?.?  
  
All: Ã.Ã;;;  
  
Some Person: ç.ç can we stop the faces? O.O  
  
Author: Heck, why not fH.fH I'm running outta ideas  
  
Fans: *gasp* O.O  
  
Author: Just for this chapter I mean!!!!  
  
Fans: *sigh of relief* phew  
  
Author: Heaven forbid I run out of ideas. "Run out of" and "ideas" are never in the same sentence for me, unless the sentence is "I never run out of ideas"  
  
All: Oh  
  
Author: fH.fH okietay...goodnight everybody ^_^;;  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
fH ~~ that's actually a kanji I think...at least it shows up that way on Microsoft wordpad...try it. The code is alt 12457 on the right side number keys ^___^  
  
Feel free to IM me any time on DuosHotandMine01  
  
Duo: yay  
  
*glomps Duo* anata wa watashi no Shinigami, to kimi o aishiteru! ^^  
  
Duo: I thought your Japanse wasn't that good  
  
Me: I just started learning a few months ago, gimme a break *smile*  
  
Duo: Oh. ^_^  
  
hehe, ja matta minna!  
  
signing off, this is the nutcase known as TaraSaturn! 


	9. Chapter Nine! A Bunch of Randomness!

The Telemarketers Meet the Senshi Chapter Nine: A Bunch of Randomness  
  
Heehee, I decided to write a chapter where people from Gundam Wing are in here too, as well as all the people who got tortured previously...^___^ I might post two chapters today, as this story is very funny! Lol I'm the author and I get tears of laughter in my eyes when I read it. OOO, anyone out there want me to try a funny Gundam Wing fic kinda like this one? I promise I will make it very funny!  
  
Duo: ME!! *raises hand*  
  
Wufei: Why not  
  
Trowa: ...  
  
Quatre: He says yes, and me too! ^_^  
  
Heero: Hn  
  
Duo: That's a yes! ^.^  
  
Me: Okietayz! ^_^ Now I just need some of my reviewers to say they want a GW funny fic and I'll get it out soon!  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Um, me and everyone else is hanging out at the Outer's house... heehee  
  
~~~  
  
Trista: I'll bet everyone $5 the phone's gonna ring today  
  
Michelle: I thought you don't gamble  
  
Trista: -.-;; oh well  
  
Phone: *ring*  
  
Trista: My five dollars, everyone... *sticks hand out*  
  
~  
  
Amara: *picks up phone* What  
  
Telemarketer: X__X are you the race car person from before?  
  
Amara: Yes, yes I am  
  
Telemarketer: Oi gevault  
  
Amara: ¥.¥ Translation???  
  
Telemarketer: Ñ.Ñ it means oi vey  
  
Amara: ?.? and that means....  
  
Telemarketer: *gulp* oh boy?  
  
Amara: þ.þ omae o korusu *blink* where'd THAT come from?!  
  
Heero: You stole my saying...-_-;;;  
  
Amara: Oh. How'd you get here?!  
  
Heero: *shrug* ask the author  
  
Amara: Ok, author, how'd he get in here?  
  
Author: *shrug*  
  
Amara: Oi vey  
  
Telemarketer: HEY!!! YOU'RE FORGETTING ABOUT ME!!  
  
Amara: Oh yeah.  
  
Heero: You're boring. Hn.  
  
Telemarketer: DOES ANYONE WANT TO BUY A SATTELITE DISH?!  
  
All: NO!  
  
Telemarketer: Oh...  
  
Heero: Hn.  
  
Author: I think I just found a hottie...Daniel Bedingfield! His new song reminds me of Quatre!  
  
Duo: ;-; what about me?  
  
Author: I still love ya *glomp*  
  
Duo: YAY!  
  
Telemarketer: HELLO!!  
  
All: Oh. Hello. What are you doing here?  
  
Telemarketer: -.-;;;;;  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
Quatre: It's a good thing when she says the song reminds her of me...right?  
  
Author: Yes  
  
Duo: I'm being ignored *pout*  
  
Author: *glomps Duo*  
  
Tara: ...someone tell me what in the name of whatever is going on....  
  
Author: Dunno, this chapter is just a bunch of randomness that makes no sense whatsoever  
  
Tara: Oi vey  
  
Telemarketr: Um, hello! I'm still on the phone here!  
  
Heero: *blasts phone with..something* not any more  
  
Michelle: You know you're paying for that...right?  
  
Heero: Damnit...*eyes the remains of the phone*  
  
Aroura: I've never been so ignored in my life! Can someone speak to me?!  
  
Trowa: Hi.  
  
Aroura: *glances at him funny* your bangs are llllooonnngggg....  
  
Author: That's what makes him hott ^_^  
  
Duo: *mutter*  
  
Author: *glomps Duo again* My Shinigami kawaiiness ^___^  
  
Duo: Yay! I'M STILL LOVED!  
  
Author: *giggle*  
  
Tara: You're supposed to be mature...  
  
Author: Oh, hush it, it's a fanfic  
  
Tara: -.-;;;  
  
Trista: AHEM  
  
All: *stare*  
  
Trista: ....  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
Quatre: Interesting conversation...  
  
Heero: Yeah  
  
Aroura: BAH!  
  
All: *stare*  
  
Aroura: Finally  
  
Duo: So, Author, what kinda chapter do you plan on writing next?  
  
Telemarketer: ONE WHERE I AM NOT EXPLODED!!  
  
All: O___O  
  
Author: I thought he killed you *nods to Heero*  
  
Heero: Nope...blasted the phone  
  
Michelle: You're still paying for it  
  
Heero: x_x  
  
Author: Will someone get rid of the telemarketer please?  
  
Tara: Yeah, sure why not...*goes, chucks telemarketer out the window*  
  
WuFei: Has anyone noticed I haven't had a single line this entire fic?  
  
Author: Hush it...you had one in the beginning  
  
WuFei: ....onna's...  
  
Tara: *deathglare*  
  
Quatre: Oi...ease up on the glare?  
  
Tara: *shrug* sure *does so*  
  
Author: How come you listen to him and not anyone else? Ooooo....does this mean something????? *does that mischeivious grin*  
  
Tara: SHUT UP!! *whack* since when do I not listen to other people?  
  
Author: *mutter* since forever  
  
Duo: *steps in* break it up people, no catfights! XD  
  
Author: You're supposed to be on my side  
  
Duo: I am  
  
Tara: ..................  
  
WuFei: WILL SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME MORE THAN ONE WORD TO SAY?! INJUSTICE!  
  
Trista: You just said more than one word  
  
Quatre: Aren't there supposed to be other people here?  
  
Author: Ooops...forgot about the Inners... Do we really want them here?  
  
Tara: NO! KEEP SERENA AWAY FROM ME! [A/N: in case I haven't mentioned it somewhere, Tara doesn't really like Serena...]  
  
Aroura: *whacks Tara* you know that's impossible  
  
Tara: X_X  
  
Heero: I don't understand you people  
  
Quatre: Me neither  
  
Amara: ....  
  
WuFei: How come Trowa gets more lines that me?  
  
Tara: Because...  
  
WuFei: Because why?  
  
Tara: Dunno. Ask the author  
  
WuFei: Okay, author, how come I get the least amount of lines?  
  
Trista: I get the least  
  
Trowa: ehem...  
  
*the door knocks*  
  
Author: Someone get the door  
  
Tara: If it's Serena I am going to scream  
  
Author: Everyone, arm yourselves *chucks everyone earplugs*  
  
All: *readies*  
  
Tara: *opens door to see...Relena!* o.o;;; who are you?  
  
Relena: Relena Peacecraft... How come I didn't have a part in this story?  
  
Author: Because it's supposed to be a Sailor Moon fic but I decided to go against the rules and bring the Gundam Wing people in and just forgot some people from both sides  
  
Relena: Oh  
  
WuFei: How come no one answered my question?  
  
Author: Oh! Oops. Um....because..I...dunno...  
  
WuFei: *mutter*  
  
Duo: *slaps his back playfully* We all love you Wuffles! XD;;;  
  
WuFei: Do. Not. Call. Me. Wuffles. In. Front. Of. People.  
  
Duo: Wuffie?  
  
WuFei: No  
  
Duo: Wuffikins?  
  
WuFei: No....  
  
Duo: Wuffums?  
  
WuFei: *turns red* NO!!!!  
  
Author: *cracks up*  
  
Tara: I don't think I will ever understand boys...  
  
Trista: So that's why you tend to stay away from them  
  
Tara: That, and I have another reason which will not be said  
  
Author: You know very well I could just write it down, right?  
  
Tara: Do I need to bring my glaive out?  
  
Author: *MEEP* NO!! NO THAT'S OKAY! *hides behind her kawaiiness*  
  
Duo: Glaive?  
  
Tara: Yep *makes her glaive appear* the glaive  
  
Duo: oooooooo  
  
Heero: *pulls him back* no, you are not trying to convince her to sell it to you...  
  
Tara: *dematerializes it* yeah, I need it  
  
Trowa: For?  
  
WuFei: Wow...Trowa speaks!  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
WuFei: ..or not  
  
All: WHY DID YOU DO THAT?!  
  
WuFei: Um...'cause?  
  
Author: X_X where have half the people gone?  
  
Michelle, Amara, Aroura, Trista, Quatre, Relena: We're still here  
  
Author: Good  
  
Quatre: ^____^  
  
Relena: Anyone like my dress?? *it's pink*  
  
Tara: *eyes the dress suspiciously as if it will attack her* pink is evil  
  
Relena: No!  
  
Tara: Yes!  
  
Author: Pink just ain't my color of choice...  
  
Duo: DON'T SAY YET! YOU SCARE ME WHEN YOU DO THAT!  
  
Michelle: ??  
  
Duo: She said when she owns Sailor Moon she's gonna turn Tux Boy into a mongoose  
  
Everyone except for Duo and Author: O_____________________O!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Author: What?! Stop staring at me like that!!  
  
Heero: A...mongoose?!  
  
Quatre: I don't think that'd be pretty...  
  
Trowa: One word: Ew  
  
WuFei: I don't even wanna know..  
  
Tara: YES!! TURN THE TUX BOY INTO A MONGOOSE THEN SEND HIM OUT INTO THE WILD TO BE ATTACKED! Um..I don't like Tux Boy either..  
  
Aroura: *BLINK-BLINK* Tara, you scare me...but not as much as the thought of what'd happen to RINI  
  
Trista: ... *stares* ...it would very much distrupt everything  
  
Amara: I don't like him  
  
Michelle: Not my type  
  
Author: YEAH! DOWN WITH THE TUX!  
  
*door knocks*  
  
Duo: I'll get it! ^____^ *goes to open the door and there is Serena!*  
  
Tara: I will now scream in five seconds  
  
Duo: *closes door FAST* nuuu!  
  
Tara: Oh, fine.  
  
Author: I don't understand you  
  
Aroura: Does anyone?  
  
Tara: *glare*  
  
Heero: Her glares are worse than mine....x_X  
  
Lady Une: *pops up outta nowhere*  
  
All: ............................  
  
Author: Uh...  
  
All: Um...  
  
Trieze: x.x;;  
  
Tara: Where in cheese did you come from?!  
  
Miliardo: RELENA!  
  
Relena: MILIARDO!  
  
Duo: Brother and sister are reunited....for the 60th time  
  
Trowa: Will this chapter ever end?  
  
Author: Um...  
  
All: *stare at author*  
  
Telemarketer: No it won't 'cause I got less of a part than EVERYONE!  
  
Heero: Didn't I kill you?  
  
Tara: No, you blasted the phone  
  
Heero: Oh.  
  
Quatre: Wait..I don't remember seeing you on the TV show...*glances at Tara*  
  
Tara: Oi gevault, I am not explaining the alternate universe time vortex thingamabobber again...  
  
Author: You just did  
  
Tara: -___________-;;;  
  
Quatre: Isn't this fic supposed to be about telemarketers?  
  
Author: Yeah, but I was too lazy to write a telemarketer fic today...  
  
Quatre: Oh  
  
Duo: ;-; no one's talking to me ;-;  
  
Author: *kisses Duo on the cheek then turns an inhumanly shade of red* you did not just see that  
  
Tara: *faints* the world is coming to an end  
  
All: *die*  
  
Duo: ^__^  
  
Author: Ok good so you don't hate me?  
  
Duo: Nope! ^_^  
  
Amara: I think I am going to die... Author, you're not supposed to like anyone!  
  
Author: *sticks out tounge* I'm a teenage girl, what do you want from me?! *boo-hoo-hoo...not*  
  
Amara: Dunno *shrug*  
  
Michelle: Why have I not been aloud to say anything?  
  
Author: Um..'cause I couldn't think of anything for you to say?  
  
*door knocks*  
  
Heero: I'll get it *goes, opens door* ..... *Rini is at the door*  
  
Rini: *sees Trista* PUU!!  
  
Trista: x_X *is glomped by Rini* ack, not so tight I can't breathe!  
  
Duo: Now where does that seem familiar...  
  
Author: *glomps Duo* here  
  
Rini: Um...who are all the guys?  
  
Duo: I'm Duo. I might run and hide but I never tell a lie! That's me in a nutshell! [1]  
  
Heero: Heero Yuy.  
  
WuFei: Nata--WuFei.  
  
Trowa: ....  
  
Quatre: He says his name is Trowa, and I'm Quatre! ^_^  
  
Rini: *tilts head* I've never seen you around before  
  
Author: Duh...they're not from your anime  
  
Rini: PUU SHE WAS MEAN TO MEEE!  
  
Trista: *sigh*  
  
Relena, Miliardo, Trieze: Um...  
  
Author: Um...what?  
  
Relena: We've not had a word the entire fic  
  
Une: Yes, and I do not like that...*going to her evil side*  
  
All: O______O!!! RUN!!! AAHHH!!  
  
Author: Ahem...  
  
Une: What?  
  
Author: You're speaking right now..  
  
Une: Oh yeah  
  
Author: I'm boorrreeeed  
  
Duo: x.x  
  
Heero: x.x;;  
  
Tara: Oh, whatever..x.X;;  
  
Aroura: .....  
  
Author: I'm getting tired of typing  
  
Duo: So end this chapter  
  
Author: Good idea  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Lol, I know I know that was complete and total randomness...but it was funny! ^__^  
  
[1] Duo, I'll leave you to explain this... Duo: It's my saying! ^_____^  
  
Quatre: ;-; no one's glomped me ;-; *sad expression*  
  
Author: *glomps Quatre* ^_^  
  
Quatre: *now is happy* yay  
  
Author: I love all the G-boys!  
  
Heero: *nods*  
  
Trowa: Um...yay?  
  
WuFei: ok  
  
Duo: ^_^;; yayyyy people love me  
  
Author: I LOVE YOU DUO!  
  
Duo: YAY!  
  
Heero: I thought you were gonna end the fic...  
  
Author: I am, I am..lemme just put in my usual ending thingyness...  
  
..AHEM..  
  
Well, keep an eye out for the next chapter! That one will have telemarketers in it....I promise!!  
  
Telemarketer: -.- you'd better keep your promises  
  
Oh, hush it telemarketer, I'm busy  
  
Anyways, I love my Shinigami and you can IM me at DuosHotandMine01 whenever you likies! ^_^  
  
Ja matta!  
  
Duo: Yep!  
  
...  
  
Signing out,  
  
Forever Duo's Girl/TaraSaturn  
  
email: glitzykiss67@aol.com  
  
OR  
  
IM: DuosHotandMine01 


	10. Chapter Ten! The Chapter That Didnt Work

Chapter Ten, Redone! Return of the $5200 Calls!  
  
W00! I'm back! Quite the long hiatus I've been on. _O Tom is visiting me. I hate Tom.  
  
Author: Hey, Heero... Can you kill Tom for me please?  
  
Heero: Sure... *Takes out gun, kills Tom*  
  
Author: ^__^ aishiteru *hug*  
  
I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
So! Where are we, you ask? We are currently in the futuristic city of Tokyo, although now it's CRYSTAL Tokyo. And thus, the telemarketers have seeked out their next victims - the future royal family, no, not the future royal orgy (XD though we all know that would be quite interesting...), but the future family! Muahaha. Here is-eth the chaptereth. Enjoyeth.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Phone: *ring*  
  
Endymion: *picks up phone* Yay-us?  
  
Telemarketer: I am Mister Telephone Man, calling you with an offer you cannot refuse!  
  
Endymion: ... *dresses up in ray-ud suit with a V* I AM VIRGINITY MAN, HERE TO SAVE... er... *grabs Neo Queen Serenity's wrist and drags her over* THIS GIRL'S VIRGINITY!  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: o.O; cheesecake?  
  
Endymion: YES! We must worship the cheesecake. But wait. Aren't we the kings and queens?  
  
Telemarketer: You have clones?  
  
Endymion and Neo Queen Serenity: ...they're in the pay-ust  
  
Telemarketer: Accent, accent, where art thou from, oh accent?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: DON'T MOCK THE CHEESECAKE!  
  
Endymion: *chibi transforms into a mongoose and devours cheesecake* ARGHFRAUGHMORUAH  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: ..My husband just turned into an animal. Please hold and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  
  
Telemarketer: YOU MEAN THIS WAS A CHEESECAKING RECORDING?! _O *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *blink... stare....* Uh, honey, please turn back into a human...  
  
Endymion: Mrawr?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: ...cheesecake. *whap*  
  
Endymion: Mrawr... *turns back into a human* Aw...  
  
~  
  
Phone: RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Small Lady Serenity (abbreviated as SLS since I'm a lazy bum-ess and feel like being that cheesecake which I am.): *picks it up* heylo?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi!  
  
SLS: Hi! How can I help you?  
  
Telemarketer: Do you wanna buy a phone card worth $5200?  
  
SLS: No... I would have no one to call... because Mom's friends ain't got no kids for me to call.  
  
Telemarketer: Awwwwwwww....  
  
SLS: *cries* WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM GET YOUR FRIENDS PREGNANT! OH GOSH THAT SOUNDED WRONG! I MEANT FOR THEIR HUSBANDS TO GET THEM PREGNANT!  
  
Telemarketer: o.O; how old are ya?  
  
SLS: Uhm... *turns to Neo Queen Serenity* how old am I?  
  
Telemarketer: o_O; ba-link  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: _O I dunno! I don't know how old I am! Last time I checked I was 14...  
  
SLS: Yeah, you were, and I was around 10-ish...  
  
Telemarketer: HOLY CHEESECAKING CHEESE!  
  
Neo Queen Serenity and SLS: o_O? huh?  
  
Telemarketer: ....my 4 year old daughter ain't havin' no kids...  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: I was NOT four when I had her! I was... uhm... She's my daughter from the past and now it's the future but she's from the past which means she originates from a mongoose...  
  
SLS: o_____o oi... *pets Neo Queen Serenity* now now... put the hallucination-inducing liquified cheesecake away...  
  
Telemarketer: ...you people are weird... *hangs up*  
  
Neo Queen Serenity and Small Lady Serenity: *high-five...* ... *eat cheesecake* BRWAR MEOW!  
  
~  
  
Author: I do know that in Parallel SM the others do have kids, and that Serena gave birth to Rini at 22, and all that shtuff... but this is a humor fic... this eliminating the need for an accurate fact-list.  
  
~  
  
Phone: ringety ring ring ringety ring ring ring...!!!  
  
Chibi Chibi: *picks up phone* chibi? (translation: hello?)  
  
Telemarketer: ch-eye-bye? (pronounced cheyebye, like 'ch'-'eye'-'bye')  
  
Chibi Chibi: o.o CHIBI CHIBI?! ("say what?")  
  
Telemarketer: Uh.. yeah, can you speak English?  
  
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI! ("I am a Japanese speaker!")  
  
Telemarketer: Ah, yes... The ancient art of avoiding the telemarketer...  
  
Chibi Chibi: Chibi Chib-Chib! ("ha ha-ha!")  
  
Telemarketer: Is your mom or dad home?  
  
Chibi Chibi: Chibi chibi chibi chibi, chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi ("Mom is at work, and dad is in the shower")  
  
Telemarketer: Telemarketer telemarketer telemarketer? ("is that true?")  
  
Chibi Chibi: *nod* chibi chibi, chib chibi chibi. ("yes yes, yes it is")  
  
Telemarketer: Telemarketer... telemarketer phone card worth $5200 telemarketer... ("okay... no phone card worth $5200 today...")  
  
Chibi Chibi: chibi! ("okay!")  
  
Telemarketer: Erm... bye.  
  
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI!!! ("BYE!!!")  
  
Telemarketer: right. *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Phone: *RING*  
  
Cosmos: Hi! This is your local insane person. She's gone insane again, and she probably won't be back for a while. But please hold, your call is very important to her. But not more important than the men in the pretty white suits taking her to the padded room filled with happiness.  
  
Telemarketer: MOOOOMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!! THE INSANE PEOPLE ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! *becomes a baby* wah! wah! wah!  
  
Cosmos: o_o... uhm. Oops. *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Phone: Rang ring rang ring rang rotsa rings!  
  
Queen Serenity: *appears* hello.  
  
Telemarketer: Hi! I have an offer for you regarding a phone card.  
  
Queen Serenity: ...But I don't need a phone card...  
  
Telemarketer: We all need a phone card sometimes!  
  
Queen Serenity: ...no.. really... I don't need a phone card...  
  
Telemarketer: Hush it. You do.  
  
Queen Serenity: *bursts into tears* NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!  
  
Telemarketer: o_O Whassat you say?  
  
Queen Serenity: *sob* A DEAD PERSON HAS NO USE FOR A PHONE! I DIED 1,000 PLUS YEARS AGO!  
  
Telemarketer: o.o then how am I talking to you?  
  
Queen Serenity: It's the magical cheesecake which hath brought your phone call into the abyss of the dead for reception.  
  
Telemarketer: Are you on crack?  
  
Queen Serenity: I SHALL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE PITS OF HADES FOR THAT DESECRATION!  
  
Telemarketer: My apologies... o____O *blink-blink*  
  
Queen Serenity: *pet* ^_^ That's a good telemarketer...  
  
Telemarketer: o___o uh, my dog just peed on my dinner, bye! *hangs up*  
  
Queen Serenity: ...good luck cleaning up your dinner, you psychotic mongoose...  
  
~~~~  
  
DONE with this chapter! ^__^ was it good huh huh was it was it? lol ok, enough hyperness... hope you liked it! Sooo sorry that took so long.  
  
see ya'll later, same nutty time, same nutty fanfic identification number!  
  
*flies off into sunset. sunset is actually a wall. uses magical powers and goes through the wall and into the universe of Gundam Wing. rejoices. Glomps Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa. Hugs Wufei. waves goodbye as the screen fades out.*  
  
hehe, bye!  
  
email: ILOVETCHAN@YAHOO.COM  
  
OR  
  
IM: tsuiraku hoshi 


	11. Chapter Eleven! The Real Chapter 10! Ret...

Chapter Ten, Redone! Return of the $5200 Calls!  
  
W00! I'm back! Quite the long hiatus I've been on. _O Tom is visiting me. I hate Tom.  
  
Author: Hey, Heero... Can you kill Tom for me please?  
  
Heero: Sure... *Takes out gun, kills Tom*  
  
Author: ^__^ aishiteru *hug*  
  
I'm sorry it took me so long to get this out.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
So! Where are we, you ask? We are currently in the futuristic city of Tokyo, although now it's CRYSTAL Tokyo. And thus, the telemarketers have seeked out their next victims - the future royal family, no, not the future royal orgy (XD though we all know that would be quite interesting...), but the future family! Muahaha. Here is-eth the chaptereth. Enjoyeth.  
  
~~~*~~~  
  
Phone: *ring*  
  
Endymion: *picks up phone* Yay-us?  
  
Telemarketer: I am Mister Telephone Man, calling you with an offer you cannot refuse!  
  
Endymion: ... *dresses up in ray-ud suit with a V* I AM VIRGINITY MAN, HERE TO SAVE... er... *grabs Neo Queen Serenity's wrist and drags her over* THIS GIRL'S VIRGINITY!  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: o.O; cheesecake?  
  
Endymion: YES! We must worship the cheesecake. But wait. Aren't we the kings and queens?  
  
Telemarketer: You have clones?  
  
Endymion and Neo Queen Serenity: ...they're in the pay-ust  
  
Telemarketer: Accent, accent, where art thou from, oh accent?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: DON'T MOCK THE CHEESECAKE!  
  
Endymion: *chibi transforms into a mongoose and devours cheesecake* ARGHFRAUGHMORUAH  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: ..My husband just turned into an animal. Please hold and I'll get back to you as soon as I can.  
  
Telemarketer: YOU MEAN THIS WAS A CHEESECAKING RECORDING?! _O *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: *blink... stare....* Uh, honey, please turn back into a human...  
  
Endymion: Mrawr?  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: ...cheesecake. *whap*  
  
Endymion: Mrawr... *turns back into a human* Aw...  
  
~  
  
Phone: RING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Small Lady Serenity (abbreviated as SLS since I'm a lazy bum-ess and feel like being that cheesecake which I am.): *picks it up* heylo?  
  
Telemarketer: Hi!  
  
SLS: Hi! How can I help you?  
  
Telemarketer: Do you wanna buy a phone card worth $5200?  
  
SLS: No... I would have no one to call... because Mom's friends ain't got no kids for me to call.  
  
Telemarketer: Awwwwwwww....  
  
SLS: *cries* WAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MOM GET YOUR FRIENDS PREGNANT! OH GOSH THAT SOUNDED WRONG! I MEANT FOR THEIR HUSBANDS TO GET THEM PREGNANT!  
  
Telemarketer: o.O; how old are ya?  
  
SLS: Uhm... *turns to Neo Queen Serenity* how old am I?  
  
Telemarketer: o_O; ba-link  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: _O I dunno! I don't know how old I am! Last time I checked I was 14...  
  
SLS: Yeah, you were, and I was around 10-ish...  
  
Telemarketer: HOLY CHEESECAKING CHEESE!  
  
Neo Queen Serenity and SLS: o_O? huh?  
  
Telemarketer: ....my 4 year old daughter ain't havin' no kids...  
  
Neo Queen Serenity: I was NOT four when I had her! I was... uhm... She's my daughter from the past and now it's the future but she's from the past which means she originates from a mongoose...  
  
SLS: o_____o oi... *pets Neo Queen Serenity* now now... put the hallucination-inducing liquified cheesecake away...  
  
Telemarketer: ...you people are weird... *hangs up*  
  
Neo Queen Serenity and Small Lady Serenity: *high-five...* ... *eat cheesecake* BRWAR MEOW!  
  
~  
  
Author: I do know that in Parallel SM the others do have kids, and that Serena gave birth to Rini at 22, and all that shtuff... but this is a humor fic... this eliminating the need for an accurate fact-list.  
  
~  
  
Phone: ringety ring ring ringety ring ring ring...!!!  
  
Chibi Chibi: *picks up phone* chibi? (translation: hello?)  
  
Telemarketer: ch-eye-bye? (pronounced cheyebye, like 'ch'-'eye'-'bye')  
  
Chibi Chibi: o.o CHIBI CHIBI?! ("say what?")  
  
Telemarketer: Uh.. yeah, can you speak English?  
  
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI CHIBI! ("I am a Japanese speaker!")  
  
Telemarketer: Ah, yes... The ancient art of avoiding the telemarketer...  
  
Chibi Chibi: Chibi Chib-Chib! ("ha ha-ha!")  
  
Telemarketer: Is your mom or dad home?  
  
Chibi Chibi: Chibi chibi chibi chibi, chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi chibi ("Mom is at work, and dad is in the shower")  
  
Telemarketer: Telemarketer telemarketer telemarketer? ("is that true?")  
  
Chibi Chibi: *nod* chibi chibi, chib chibi chibi. ("yes yes, yes it is")  
  
Telemarketer: Telemarketer... telemarketer phone card worth $5200 telemarketer... ("okay... no phone card worth $5200 today...")  
  
Chibi Chibi: chibi! ("okay!")  
  
Telemarketer: Erm... bye.  
  
Chibi Chibi: CHIBI!!! ("BYE!!!")  
  
Telemarketer: right. *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Phone: *RING*  
  
Cosmos: Hi! This is your local insane person. She's gone insane again, and she probably won't be back for a while. But please hold, your call is very important to her. But not more important than the men in the pretty white suits taking her to the padded room filled with happiness.  
  
Telemarketer: MOOOOMMMMY!!!!!!!!!!! THE INSANE PEOPLE ARE BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK! *becomes a baby* wah! wah! wah!  
  
Cosmos: o_o... uhm. Oops. *hangs up*  
  
~  
  
Phone: Rang ring rang ring rang rotsa rings!  
  
Queen Serenity: *appears* hello.  
  
Telemarketer: Hi! I have an offer for you regarding a phone card.  
  
Queen Serenity: ...But I don't need a phone card...  
  
Telemarketer: We all need a phone card sometimes!  
  
Queen Serenity: ...no.. really... I don't need a phone card...  
  
Telemarketer: Hush it. You do.  
  
Queen Serenity: *bursts into tears* NO! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!  
  
Telemarketer: o_O Whassat you say?  
  
Queen Serenity: *sob* A DEAD PERSON HAS NO USE FOR A PHONE! I DIED 1,000 PLUS YEARS AGO!  
  
Telemarketer: o.o then how am I talking to you?  
  
Queen Serenity: It's the magical cheesecake which hath brought your phone call into the abyss of the dead for reception.  
  
Telemarketer: Are you on crack?  
  
Queen Serenity: I SHALL DRAG YOU DOWN TO THE PITS OF HADES FOR THAT DESECRATION!  
  
Telemarketer: My apologies... o____O *blink-blink*  
  
Queen Serenity: *pet* ^_^ That's a good telemarketer...  
  
Telemarketer: o___o uh, my dog just peed on my dinner, bye! *hangs up*  
  
Queen Serenity: ...good luck cleaning up your dinner, you psychotic mongoose...  
  
~~~~  
  
DONE with this chapter! ^__^ was it good huh huh was it was it? lol ok, enough hyperness... hope you liked it! Sooo sorry that took so long.  
  
see ya'll later, same nutty time, same nutty fanfic identification number!  
  
*flies off into sunset. sunset is actually a wall. uses magical powers and goes through the wall and into the universe of Gundam Wing. rejoices. Glomps Heero, Duo, Quatre, and Trowa. Hugs Wufei. waves goodbye as the screen fades out.*  
  
hehe, bye!  
  
email: ILOVETCHAN@YAHOO.COM  
  
OR  
  
IM: tsuiraku hoshi 


End file.
